Run
by OMalley9
Summary: Lily is sad, depressed, and stuck in a situation she feel she has no control over. But when James Potter pops into her life will Lily finally find her Gryffindor courage? Or will she continue to run.
1. Chapter 1 Complicated

So here I sit in the Great hall at breakfast again. Fighting with my boyfriend, again. I sighed and turned to look around the great hall seeing other people laughing and having fun with their friends. What that must be like to feel so blissfully happy and not stressed out. Stress that was one thing that I'm accustomed to these days. Not only was I stressed out because I failed yet another Charm test I had to deal with my arrogant pig headed boy friend.

"Hello! Lily, aren't you listening to a thing I have been saying?!" JT hissed at me in his usual harsh tone.

I blinked up at him and tried to remember what we had been fighting about this time. Perhaps the correct question would be what HAVEN'T we been fighting about this time. Very rarely do I even remember what the basis of the fight originated from. It seemed the first topic of our argument would shift into another to another and yet to another. Nothing ever changed.

"No sorry I wasn't paying attention I have a lot of other stuff on my mind right now." I whispered back at him. Hopefully none of my friends would have noticed us fighting again. If they did it would only lead to another fight with them. I chanced a glance at my two very best friends Briana O'Connor and Alice Collin, and of course they were both watching JT and I. I groaned slightly I hated fighting with them. I knew that as soon as I was away from JT they would set in on me. It would be the usual of course.

Alice would shake her head at me whilst telling me I deserved better and then list off my amazing qualities that he takes for granted. While she would shower me with compliments my other friend Briana would be more brutal. She would tell me how stupid and naïve I was to stay with him. Good cop/Bad cop routine as always.

Not that I didn't appreciate them and their concern, in fact I appreciated it so much. But it was getting old; they didn't realize the half of the situation. They had never seen me and JT alone. I shuttered to think what they would do if they knew what he was like when no one was around us.

"Of course you weren't paying attention Lily. God your attitude is getting old, it's like you don't care about us any more." He scolded

I looked up at him when he said this. Hmm maybe he was right maybe I didn't care any more. I thought hard on that comment, staring at him as if I had never seen him. There it was the answer to everything! He nailed it! I didn't care any more, and why should I after everything we had been through! After everything he put me through! The tears, the hurt, the pain! I should've ended it long ago, but I HATE hurting people's feelings. I groaned knowing what this revelation was bringing to me, and it wasn't unfamiliar, I felt trapped. Trapped as I had been for the last 2 years.

Alas, that comment "It's like you don't care about us anymore" no matter how truthful it might be, it didn't change anything.

"Hey Lils!"

I turned to look up at Briana and Alice. I smiled slightly; they must be trying to get me out of this fight.

"Hey Alice, Hey Briana!" I replied trying to act chipper. "What's up?" I look at them to JT who looks even more pissed, is that even possible?

"Lils I have a huge favor to ask you." Alice started. Oh Alice, very rarely could I say no to her. She was the purest person I have ever met. She had gorgeous blonde hair that cascaded down her back in light waves. Her blue eyes had a way of reading into any ones soul and letting them know that she cared. "So I have a huge project due for potions on Monday, and I am suppose to work in the Hospital ward tonight from 3pm to 12am. There is no way I can do it and finish my potions project. Could you please work it for me? I already talked to Poppy and she said it was ok." Alice pleaded.

"Well…" I glanced at my best friend; I knew how important this assignment was to her and how much she hates asking for help. "Of course I will"

"Wait, Lily, we were suppose to play gobstones with Brian remember?" JT barked making Alice and Briana jump a little. They both looked at me with cautious eyes.

"Well I think that Alice might need me more then you and Brian will. Have fun with your friend." I told JT smoothly talking much more quickly then I had earlier. JT's eyes slanted at me.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then." He snapped as he got up from the table and walked away from us.

I stared back at him in relief that I wouldn't have to put up with him and his groupie today. I swear Brian worshiped him, he agreed to everything JT said before he said and half the time he had no idea what he was talking about at all. I sighed as I turned to my friends waiting for them to start their rants.

"Lily are you ok?" Alice asked quietly.

"Of course she isn't!" Briana exclaimed before I had a chance to process what Alice had even asked me. "Look at her pale as a sheet, well paler then normal for her!"

I laughed at the last comment "paler then normal for her" Its true I am unbelievably pale, probably the pales student in Hogwarts. I have pale skin, vibrant red hair that hangs to my waist, and bright green eyes. I wasn't the tallest girl but I wasn't the shortest. I use to love the way I looked, hardly wore any makeup at all and always just let my hair fall naturally like a natural beauty. But all that changed a year ago when JT started nagging at me to wear makeup and do my hair this way and dress that way. At first I ignored him which only made him angrier and more likely to pick on me. Eventually though, I gave in. Not because I wanted to please him, but because I didn't want to fight about it anymore.

There were a lot of things that I had change to get him to stop riding my back. I stopped hanging out with my friends, I quit the Hogwarts Choir, I didn't write to my family as much, I stopped laughing at other guys, and honestly I stopped being me.

"Look guys, its just…" I tried to search for the word. What was the correct word to name mine and JT's relationship? Strange. Hurtful. Torturous. Suicidal. Complicated. "Its just complicated you guys." I finished

"We know it is. Trust me we don't pretend to understand why you are still dating that asshole." Briana said as I stood up away from the table, what little appetite I have these days had disappeared with JT's exit. I knew I would hear about "choosing them over him" later.

"Anyways," I interjected "I had better go grab a book or something from the library to pass time tonight at work." Work. Oh how I loved to work in the Hospital Ward, I wanted nothing more then to be a Healer. Poppy was an amazing advisor and always let me and Alice help her when we wanted some practice. This year at Hogwarts we got offered to shadow a teacher or other faculty member to learn more about the field that we wished to go into. Most students wanted to shadow Professor Rodgers, he was the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and an ex Auror for the Ministry of Magic. Thankfully there were only 3 of us who wanted to pursue a job as a Healer. More work for me!

"Thank you so much Lily. I'm so sorry it caused a fight between you and JT." Alice said softly as we began to walk out of the great hall.

"It's fine, it's not like we weren't fighting before you two came over here anyways." I said glumly as I looked around the great hall. I stared at one particular group of students. The Marauders, I envied them sometimes, they were so care free and happy. I was in the same year as them but didn't know them personally. They were the four most popular boys in the school, Remus Lupin, Peter Petigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter.

I knew Remus Lupin because we are Prefects together since 5th year, and probably next year we would be Head Boy and Head Girl together as well. But as for the other three I knew their names, faces, and only because we lived in the same house, Gryffindor.

"Well still, thank you." Alice said and gave me a quick hug before she ran to the dungeons to continue her potions project. I turned to look at Briana who was staring at me expectedly.

"Well?" She asked

"Well what?"

"What the hell was he going on about this time?"

"Ugh." I groaned exasperatedly "Like I know, one second I was sitting there contemplating eating my eggs and the next thing I know he is ranting at me for not wearing lipstick says "I have an image to uphold Lily! Why don't you care that you look like an ugly pig in public?" Like I care honestly." I scoffed.

"He called you an ugly pig!" Briana exclaimed.

"Ya and that's the nice name." We were outside the library and I leaned against the wall. "I don't know what to do Bri."

"I told you what you have to do." She whispered. It was rare that she lowered her voice. I knew now that she was completely serious. Briana was never serious either, it was rare not to see a joking smile on her round face. She had curly black hair that seemed to match her personality to a T! She was one of the most gorgeous girls at Hogwarts.

"I know. I know what you told me, and I wish it was that simple." I whispered more to me then to Briana.

"I don't see the complication." Briana said as she gave me a small sad smile and walked away.

I watched her walk away mulling yet another conversation that implied something I knew but couldn't do a damn thing about. Complication, yes it was complicated, and it was about to get even more complicated.


	2. Chapter 2 A New Feeling

Here it is Chapter 2 of So Close. I just wanted to say that this story is based on how I met the love of my life. Everything in it is going to tie with how CND and I got together, I just put a Marauder twist on it. Please read and review. I own nothing related to Harry Potter it's all the brilliant JK Rowling

I swear time passes so slow at times. For an instance I have been sitting here for 3 hours. 3 hours of nothing to do, I've made all the beds and sorted through the potions for Poppy. Not only that there was no one to talk to seeing as how our only patient in the ward had already been escorted out by Poppy herself. That patient was none other than Remus Lupin. I sighed as I recalled the look of pure shock at seeing me on his weakened face as I handed him a strengthening potion. He insisted that he was only set with a minor cold, but I knew the truth even though he never told me.

Remus was bitten by a werewolf when he was 4 years old, punishment for his father losing a gambling bet against Fernier Greyback. The life of Alan Lupin's only child seemed to be a sufficient enough payment when Alan could not produce the money owed to Greyback. Yet, little Remus pulled through and instead of dying the way Greyback had intended he now transformed into a werewolf ones a month.

I shuddered as I thought about poor sweet Remus being walked to the Whomping Willow once a month to endure his transformations alone. I wish there was something I could do to help. I had often wished this since I had learned what my fellow prefect became once a month. I had devised an idea to create a potion that would take away the pain of becoming a werewolf and allow him to just become a harmless wolf and wait out the transformations. However, I could not confide into any one without them knowing I knew about Remus. I was still uncertain who all knew about his problem. I was quite certain that Dumbledore and Poppy knew for sure. But other than that I didn't want to risk making life at Hogwarts hard for him, especially since he already is subjected to so much as it is.

I sighed as I turned back to my book on potions. I was trying to figure out what I needed to improve on for the potion for Remus to work correctly. Perhaps a unicorn hair, venom of a snake, or even pixie venom. This was going to be more difficult then I imagined, especially seeing as I had no one to converse with or a subject to test the potion on. I slammed the book down in frustration letting out an angry growl.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something Miss?"

I startled and turned to look towards the door to see a young man about my age standing just inside the room. He was hesitating as though he wasn't sure if he should enter and be subjected to my anger. Or maybe he thought I was crazy, hmm perhaps I was crazy.

"No not at all. I'm Lily Evans, Poppy had to step out for a bit is there something I can do for you?"

"Hi, I'm James Potter. I didn't mean to startle you." He insisted as he walked towards the desk I was sitting at.

"You didn't I was just lost in my own thoughts I suppose." I waved him to sit down in a chair by my desk.

I watched as he took a seat and stare at me. The way he looked at me made me slightly uncomfortable. It was a very piercing stare like he was looking for something. It made me very self-conscious.

I cleared my throat nervously. "Is there something you needed help with?"

"Oh sorry, I guess I was getting lost in my thoughts as well." He smiled looking down and then back up at me through his eye lashes. "You see I was um…outside and I… um fell… and…" He looked down almost as if he was ashamed or something.

"So you fell?" I asked with a smile.

"Yes I scratched my leg fairly well, I was in here to see if Poppy could heal it for me."

He stared up at me shyly. I couldn't help but stare at him. He was extraordinarily good looking. He had messy dark hair and beautiful hazel eyes. His face was slightly rounded and he had these side burns which for the life of me I could not understand why he had them but they made him more appealing. He smiled up at me as I assessed his features. I liked what I saw and I think he knew it.

"Well let me see." I said with a smile at the shock on his face.

"Um it's on my thigh." He looked away obviously embarrassed.

"Oh I said looking down at his pant leg." I let out a gasp; there was so much blood on it.

"You fell? It looks like a huge gash!" I exclaimed "Take off your pants!"

"Wow. Aren't you rushy?" He said with a smile teasing me.

I rolled my eyes at him feeling my temper raise slightly. "James just take your pants off and lay on the bed so I can get a potion on that gash before it gets infected. It needs to breathe! Just do it."

"You know Lily, I kind of like your forcefulness." He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and stood up grabbing his hand and pulling him to a standing position.

"Geeze! That hurts!" He whined

"Well if you would have listened it wouldn't have. Go to that bed over there and draw the curtain. I'm going to fetch a potion to kill the infection that probably set in already. Call me when you are ready for me to put it on you." I said as I walked away to the potion cabinet.

"Fine." He sighed and walked to the bed I had pointed out to him.

I watched him disappear behind the curtain that separated his bed from the one next to him. Smiling slightly I turned back to the potion cabinet acquiring all the potions I thought he would need. I grabbed the infection killer as well as a calming potion and a sleeping draught. I knew from experience that the infection killer potion stung like hell and would cause him more pain then was necessary, but given the circumstances it was beneficial to him.

"I'm ready Lily."

I set the potions on a tray and had them follow me with a hovering charm. When I reached the curtain I pulled it back and looked at the boy sitting on the bed stiffly. His eyes were focused on the ground and his cheeks were a slight pink. I smiled wryly at his discomfort. He was in his Quidditch shirt and boxers. I laughed quietly earning a dirty look from him.

"Sorry." I said quickly, I looked down at the gash on his right leg. It was bigger than I thought. I quickly realized that there was no way he was telling me the truth. My eyes flickered to his. I saw the look of discomfort in them.

"You fell?" I whispered. Getting a towel and conjuring up a bowl of warm water so I could clean the dry blood off the wound and its surrounding area.

"Ya I was running and fell… down some stairs…" he trailed off wincing as I whipped his gash.

"It looks like you were stabbed with something or even cut by something." I commented. I knew he was lying to me.

"Nope..." he said unconvincingly

"Right" I continued to clean the wound "So you're a Gryffindor right?" I asked trying to make small talk.

"Yes, so are you were in the same year. I've seen you before, you're the quiet girl at meals but always so responsive in classes." He said in a matter of fact tone.

I chuckled at his honesty. True I was the quiet girl, I rarely talked to my friends anymore because of JT, but I loved answering questions in class. I smiled at him slightly and nodded.

"Ya I suppose I am. I'm sorry it's a little funny that we are in the same year and house and we have never spoken to each other." I mumbled to him as I took in the sight of his leg. It was worse than I thought, I studied it thoughtfully. It looked like something scratched him, an animal maybe? But what kind of animal would have left such a gash, so deep and violent like a like a werewolf.

"Um James?" I whispered quietly looking up into his eyes, he must have noticed the change in my tone and looked at me warily.

"Yes?"

"You're friends with Remus." It wasn't a question it was a fact.

"Yes best of mates why?" He stared at me carefully trying to mask his face into something nonchalant.

"You're scratch it reminded me of him." I said looking down at my hands which were now covered in James's blood.

"Why in the name of Merlin would my cut remind you of Remus?" He chuckled but there was an edge to it.

"I can't say why, but it does. James I know you didn't fall." I said standing up and looking down at him.

"Oh and how do you gather that Lily?"

"It's a full moon." I said as I turned away from him, he knew Remus was a werewolf, I just knew it. How else could you explain those gashes?

"Yes I am aware of that." He said testily

"James did he bite you?" I whispered as I turned back to him. His mouth was hanging open and looked as if his heart had stopped. His face was paler then it was before when he came in, he looked petrified.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said quickly

"James I'm not stupid, I have known for a while now, Remus doesn't know I know." I whispered to him.

"You know? Who told you?" He tried to jump up as I pushed him down back onto the bed. "It was Snape wasn't it!" He accused my eyes flashed.

"No it was not Severus. Why would Sev have told me anything?" I asked curiously. "I figured it out myself after being prefect along with Remus." I explained.

James was silent as he looked away from me towards the window. The full moon was shining brilliantly into the large ward. I shuddered as I heard the howl of a werewolf.

I looked towards the window along with James. I don't know why but there was something serene about this moment, as if we were two long lost friends mourning the pain of another friend.

"I want to help him, I've been trying to develop a potion that would make the transformations less painful."

"Really? You're not scared or disgusted by him?"

I looked at James in shock. Scared of Remus? Disgusted by something that was so far out of his control and unfair? I walked towards him and sat on the bed next to his injured leg. I took the infection killing potion and dabbed some onto a cloth and rubbed it softly on his gash.

"Of course not. How could I be? Remus is one of the sweetest most pure person I have ever had the pleasure to be friends with. He is good right down to the core, how could I hold something against him that he can't control. He is Remus, not a disgusting werewolf." I said confidently as I doctored the wound.

"Wow, I think you need to tell Remus, you have no idea how much this would mean to him. He spends so much time dwelling on what people will think of him if it got out what he is."

"He is Remus." I interrupted.

"Yes, he is Remus. But it would help him to know that you accept him no matter what he is." I looked up at James and smiled sweetly.

"If it would make him feel better I'll tell him."

"Thank you, and thank you for not telling anyone." James said as I started waving my wand to close the wound up.

"It's not my story to tell. Remus doesn't need the tension either, it's hard enough for him."

"You know I'm actually glad that I got hurt tonight, it's good to have talked to you." James said sincerely.

"Are you going to tell me how exactly he hurt you? Why were you down there with him in the first place?"

"Ah. I can't tell you that, Marauders secret." He said quietly.

"I just hope you don't make a habit of this." I teased him as I began wrapping the wound in gauze. "It might be Poppy next time and I doubt she would fall for your excuse of falling, James."

"I suppose you are right." He smiled as he stared at me, for some reason it made me blush. "I'm glad it was you, I liked talking to you Lily."

"I liked talking to you too James, we might have to do it again sometime, but for now you need rest so the infection killing potion doesn't cause you too much pain I numbed it before I put it on you. If I'm not mistaking it should start hurting in about 2 minutes, so take these. "I handed James three potions in small glasses. "One is a pain easer and the other a sleeping draught along with a calming draught. You need to rest James."

He gave me a pouting look as he downed all three quickly making a face as he did so.

"Ugh that's disgusting, but thank you Lily." James managed a small smile. I could see the discomfort taking over as he tried to get comfortable.

"Here" I pulled a blanket off of the shelf above him and laid it on him gently. "Would you like me to take you glasses for you?" I whispered to James. He didn't reply. I quickly looked down to see if he was okay and was happy to see that he was already drifting to sleep. Quietly I took off his glasses and set them on the table next to him.

He was nice I thought as I picked up the supplies I had used to take care of his injured leg. He was very nice and cute. He wasn't anything like JT, he was different.

I returned to my desk and stared out the window thinking about the last hour. For some strange reason I had a feeling that this night was the start to a new beginning.


	3. Chapter 3 Midnight Chats

As always this is not my amazing world! JK Rowling owns anything and everything that you amazing readers relate to Harry Potter. I own all the happenings though! Please Read n Review as always!

As much as I love Poppy I am beginning to think she is taking advantage of my desire to learn as much as she could possibly teach me. She hasn't returned to the hospital wing since she had escorted Remus down to the Whomping Willow. I looked at the clock and sighed, it was 11:45pm. James was still sleeping and Poppy was not back yet. Looks like I might have to stay late. Not that I really minded all too much. I had finished my book and was uplifted at the thought of telling Remus that I knew about him and wanted to be able to help him as much as possible.

The thought of Remus made me think of James. I stared across the room and saw his chest rising softly still in a deep sleep. I was still curious about how Remus was able to attack him, if James had known what Remus was capable of why would he risk getting so close to him when he was transforming? I just don't think James is that dense, but then again I have never really talked to him before tonight.

I sighed it's after midnight and Poppy isn't back yet. I might as well get comfortable cause I can't leave James alone. What if he woke up in the middle of the night and needed something? No I would stay with him until Poppy came back.

I walked over to the bed he was laying and checked his wrap on his leg. It wasn't too tight. His face looked like he was in pain even while he slept. Should I wake him up to give him a potion for the pain? I walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a potion I knew would ease the pain quickly. I just hated to wake him up.

"James?" I whispered softly to him setting the potion next to his bed. "James? You got to wake up and take some potion." I watched as he started to come to and strained his eyes to see his surroundings. "Oh!" I exclaimed and retrieved his glasses from the table.

"Thanks" he said as he put them on. "What time is it?"

"It's a bit after midnight. I just wanted to give you some more potion for the pain."

"Ugh no more." He whined but accepted the cup I held out anyways. He blanched as he swallowed the potion in one gulp. "Yuck. So why are you still here? You can't possibly stay here all night?"

"No Poppy likes to take advantage of me. I haven't seen her since she took Remus down to the tree earlier this evening." He locked eyes on me as I mentioned Remus, clearly he hasn't forgotten that I knew about his "condition"

"I see."

"Are you tired still? I could get you another sleeping draught if you'd like."

"No, please I want to stay awake for awhile." He pleaded.

"Alright." We fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"So um, I still feel terrible that we have never talked." James admitted

"I know it seems weird that two people in the same year, house and classes don't talk." I sighed. "Well I don't talk to really any body that much."

"Why is that?" he asked curiously.

"It's..." I trailed off trying to find the word, what was the word I had used earlier to describe it to Bri? "Complicated." I fidgeted with my robe not wanting to meet his eyes. For the oddest reason I felt so ashamed.

"Nothing is complicated; it's just how you handle the situation at hand."

"Well, then I suppose I don't handle situations are good as you do then." I mumbled looking any where but at James.

"Of course no two people handle the situations the same, but if you need someone to talk to about the situations, I'd be glad to lend an ear. I mean I don't want to be nosey or anything but I want to be able to help. You are a good person to keep Remus secret to yourself. Any one who can not be biased about that is a person I want to be friends with."

Friends? I stared at him. I must have looked quite stupid with my mouth hanging wide open. He was so honest and not like any one I have ever met. He cut straight to the point and didn't seem to care if he didn't sound like most people at the school.

"Um thanks James. But, like I said it is rather complicated to explain."

"It's a good thing I can't leave the hospital wing and that Poppy isn't here either. We have all night to discuss your complicated life." He teased.

I rolled my eyes at this. What could it hurt? It might even help to have an outsiders perspective on my situation with JT. James wouldn't be biased because he doesn't know me or JT at all.

"Okay, well for starters do you know JT?"

'Yes, kind of a bigger bloke with black hair. He always gives me and Sirius dirty looks when we are in the dorm. JT and Brian don't really talk to us in the dorm, they keep to themselves, but when they do talk to us its like they think they are better then any one else. They have big attitudes and are rude." He said and then blushed slightly at his honesty.

"Yes, I suppose they do seem that way to a lot of people. Believe me you're not the first person who has been brutally honest about how my boyfriend and his follower act towards other people. Briana tells me about a million times a week how rude and cruel he is. Reckons he should have been sorted into Slytherin because he is so foul to people."

"Wait" James interrupted me, "Wait just a second. JT is your boyfriend?"

I nodded, for some odd reason I felt slightly ashamed to admit it.

"Wow. I don't mean to sound rude but I don't see it." James looked up at me as though thinking I might object, when I continued to look down at my hair I was currently staring at he continued, "I mean he's a right foul git to people, and then there is you who is sweet, kind, and caring…" He trailed off here looking at me "I just don't get it."

"He wasn't always like that. I've known him for year! He was kind and sweet and promised so much! He was amazing, but he has been through so much…" I stopped, I was defending him and it wasn't true, not one word. I felt my eyes tear up.

"Lily?" James moved towards me slowly.

"I'm lying. I'm sorry. I'm not going to deny that there was something there when we first started dating because there was. I don't know when it happened though. At first he was kind and sweet, but it changed. He changed. I can't explain what happened. It was like everything he appeared to be was fake."

"Lily I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about this." James said grabbing a tissue and handing it to me.

"Thank you." I dabbed at my eyes. "The problem is I need someone to talk to about it. Talking to Briana and Alice only helps so much. They are so biased when it comes to him, not that I can blame them. They have seen him break me down. But, talking to someone who isn't immediately attached to the situation."

"I'll listen to you." He promised

I smiled up at James and took a deep breath.

"Well like I said he wasn't like that at first. He was sweet and kind, but with in a couple of months it all changed. He started being rude to me and belittling me, everything I said was stupid in his opinion. He talked down to my friends as if he believed he was better then them. I wasn't allowed to talk to them as much as I use to, I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys period, and I had certain things that he insisted I do. I have to have my makeup done all the time, my skirt has to be slightly shorter then the average girl, I am suppose to sit quietly next to him. I feel like a trophy at times, he uses me to show off to his pathetic friends. He even gets mad when I write to my mom, to the point where he reads the letters before I send them off." I looked over at James, he didn't look like he was judging me like most people would. Most people would say I'm stupid to stay with JT that if I wanted out I could get out. That it was my own fault that I allowed him to treat me this way. James must have had a similar thought to this.

"Why do you stay with him?" He asked with concern, not judgment.

"Well, honestly?"

"Yes honestly, please."

"Most of the time when people ask me that I would just say that I know he loves me he has a harsh way of showing me and that I love him. But I guess since you don't seem like the type of person who would judge me I'll tell you the truth." I looked James in the eye and gave him a small smile, "I hate hurting people. Breaking it off with JT would hurt him, and no matter how he treats me, I don't want to hurt him."

"So, let me get this straight. You would rather suffer and not be happy instead of hurting JT?"

"Stupid isn't it?"

"I believe the word we decided on was complicated." James smiled at me.

"Complicated."

"Well." James turned to me and gently lifted my chin up to meet his eyes. He brushed away a couple of the tears that were falling softly down my cheeks. "As a friend I have a small bit of advice. Lily, sometimes you have to hurt other people in order to make yourself happy. It's not mean and it's not selfish. But someday you will have to put you first."

"Thanks James." I whispered, I felt something in my stomach. Maybe it was the thought of finally telling someone the truth about JT and not have them judge me, or maybe it was the fact that James still had my face in his hands and was staring into my eyes.

"Lily, trust me, you deserve to be happy. You just have to take the steps towards that happiness." He rubbed the last two tears off my cheeks and smiled sweetly and let his hands fall back into his lap.

"Despite you being hurt and all I'm glad Remus attacked you tonight. It's nice to have a new friend to talk to. I might have to thank him for almost tearing your leg off James."

"He'd get a laugh out of that one Lils." James laughed loudly. "Come here." James pulled me into a hug and held me against his chest. Which I couldn't help to notice smelled amazing. "You're a great friend Lily."

"Thank you." I whispered and held on just a little tighter.

James gently lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes. A feeling I have never felt pulsed through my stomach and my heart started to flutter.

"You have beautiful eyes, you know that?" James whispered to me looking down at my lips. My heart skipped another beat and my eyes began to shut softly. I felt him pull my face gently towards his.

"What is going on here!"

James and I flew apart. Poppy finally decided to come back to the Hospital wing.


	4. Chapter 4 Confrontations

Once again I do not own anything that you recognize from JK.

Yes I know fate, and she is a fickle bitch.

Oh Merlin how embarrassing! Poppy chased me out of the hospital wing! ME! Lily Evans! This has got to be the most embarrassing night of my life. The only good part is that James seems to have gotten a good laugh from my embarrassment. As Poppy was lecturing me on proper care for someone who was in HER hospital wing he watched making faces at me the entire time. She then proceeded to kick me out for the night which honestly is done without complaints because after all it is after 1 am.

What would have happened if Poppy had not walked in? I mean, James was so close and I was even closer. I leaned against the wall outside the fat ladies portrait that leads to the Gryffindor common room. What would have happened? What was I feeling? These were two of the hundreds of questions racing through my brain. I almost Kissed James! And not only did I almost kiss him I wanted to kiss him! I felt frustrated that Poppy walked in when she did! But what would have happened if she didn't? What would we have done? Just a small peck on the lips or a full kiss? Then what could have come out of it? All it would have done would have made this situation that I can't get out of, and what is worse I would have dragged James into my problems.

JT would have known, I don't know how he would have known but he would have known. And when he found out! I shuddered silently, it would not have been pretty, not one bit. JT is the most jealous person I have ever met in my life.

I sighed it's after 1am and I am exhausted and my brain needs to shut down before I go insane.

"Sugar Quills" I whispered to the fat lady who mumbled quietly as she swung open.

I looked at the common room. The common room has long since been abandoned, the fire was starting to extinguish and bags were scattered through out the room showing that the students had left them as well.

"Where were you?"

I froze. Oh no. Its 3 hours after my shift was suppose to end and he waited up for me. He never ever waited up for me, this wasn't a good sign. I knew that he didn't wait up for me to make sure I made it back okay after curfew, he was mad. I closed my eyes preparing myself for what was to come. I've heard it before, the anger, the hate, the accusations, the yelling, and then the apologies. I didn't want to go through this again, all I wanted was to go to my bed and think about what happened in the hospital wing.

I turned around to where the voice came from and saw JT sitting in one of the chairs closest to the nearly extinguished fire.

"Hi, Poppy left the wing and a student came in. I couldn't leave the student until Poppy returned in case they needed something." I explained quietly. I knew he would be mad regardless of my excuse. I braced myself waiting the inevitable.

"Yes you could have. You were supposed to end your shift at 10!" JT stood up and walked towards me quickly. "You had no business staying there Lily!" He grabbed my arm grasping it tightly.

"I couldn't leave the student." I tried to say but it came out more of a whimper.

"Whatever Lily." JT through my arm back at me making me stumble. I had to grasp on to the table to stop from falling. "I don't care anyways. I only waited up for you to tell you how pissed off I am about the way you acted at breakfast this morning."

I should have known. He was angry about how I ditched him to help Alice. Typical.

"Look, JT, I was just helping out a friend." I argued.

"Oh like she couldn't have studied later! You always let those friends of yours walk all over you. I'm so sick of your attitude. You're lucky I didn't tell them to go bugger off this morning. You had no business helping them when you already made plans with me! Do you have any idea how stupid I felt when Brian asked where you were? I told him you would be there and then you took off because those little whores are more important than me." JT yelled.

"Whatever," I turned back towards the stairs that would lead me to the girl's stair case. "I'm going to bed." I started walking when it happened. JT grabbed me by my waist and pushed me forcefully against the wall smacking his hand hard against my mouth to keep me from crying out. His other arm pushed against my throat making it hard to breath. My head knocked back against the brick wall making me vision spin.

"Listen to me Lily," He whispered venomously. When he did that he sounded so dangerous. "Don't you think for one second you are going to act like that again. I'm sick of putting up with your shit, you're going to knock it off. No more helping your little friends, no more helping out in the Hospital wing either. You're going to tell that old hag nurse you quit. Do you fucken understand me?" He waited as I stared at him with wide eyes totally paralyzed with fear. When I didn't respond he pushed harder on my neck. "I said do you fucking understand me?" I nodded gingerly.

"Hey, what are you doing?" A voice called out in the dark, making JT drop his hand from my mouth and crash his lips on to my own preventing me from getting any air into my lungs which I so desperately needed.

JT pulled away after a few seconds and turned towards the intruder. "Oh just saying good night to my girlfriend, Black." He looked back towards me and released me from his hold. "Good night Lily. Black." He disappeared up the boy's staircase leaving me starring at the spot he just was at.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked me as he slowly walked towards me.

I didn't respond, I just slowly sunk to the floor. No matter how mad JT has ever been at me he had never looked at me with so much hate. He had never grabbed me like that. I tried to stretch my back at and could already feel the bruises that were forming on my back from being slammed against the wall.

"Hey." Sirius came up and kneeled next to me. "Lily right?" He looked at me with thoughtful eyes.

I stared at him and couldn't seem to find my voice. I was scared what if JT was watching me right now? I felt so paranoid all of a sudden.

"He's gone." Sirius whispered almost as if he could read my mind, "Trust me, he is in the dorm already I heard the door shut." I couldn't move, JT could have just opened and shut the door! Sirius seemed to see my panic and took out his wand and whispered_ Humano Revelio _He seemed satisfied. "He's not here."

That's all it took I cried. I cried hard and long. I didn't care that I was in front of a guy I never talked to I just needed to cry. To let it all out, the pain, the hurt, the confusion, and the frustration. What was I going to do?

"Hey, don't cry Lily. It's okay. What happened? Did he hurt you?" Sirius asked quickly and quietly but his voice was slow and dangerous at the same time. He knew, he knew that JT was hurting me. He wasn't stupid he knew that he didn't walk into a heated snogging session.

"I'm fine." I whispered trying to calm down my crying.

"No you're not. I saw what he was doing to you. Does he always do that to you?" He sounded angry now.

"I… I can't. I have to go to bed." I stood up shakily almost falling back down, but Sirius grabbed me quickly steading me on my feet.

"Lily." Sirius whispered. "You need help."

"Nothing happened." I said trying to turn to the girl's stair case, Sirius softly grabbed my wrist making me flinch. He saw this and let go looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Okay. " He stepped away slowly. I nodded and started walking up the stairs to my dorm room. I felt Sirius's eyes on me the whole way up.

First James and now Sirius? Merlin what was I getting myself into.


	5. Chapter 5 Life Like A Marauder

I feel like the Hogwarts Express hit me. My whole back is covered in bruises. Honestly, if you lifted my shirt up to expose my back it would match the indentions on the bricks perfectly. I moaned as I got out of bed thanking god it was Sunday so there was no lessons. Which meant my back pack would not be hitting my bruises all day. Oh little joys of life.

I looked around my dormitory and saw that Alice was gone already and Bri was still asleep. I gingerly got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom we shared in our dorm. I sighed as I looked in the mirror. My arm had JT's finger prints etched perfectly in my pale white skin. The discoloration making it look like ink splotches. I observed my body in the mirror, I had a lovely necklace of bruises on neck. I moaned I couldn't do healing charms that well on myself. I was never talented in that area of healing. I guess I could sneak into the hospital wing and get a bruise removing lotion. But I most likely someone would see my display. I guess I could wear a turtle neck till I could go sneak some.

I quietly returned to my dorm and got dress trying not to wake up Bri. She was always so grumpy when you woke her up early on a day she was actually able to sleep in. these days were rare because she usually had to wake up for Quidditch practice if she didn't have lessons. I would bring her breakfast later if she slept through it.

I pulled on some black leggings and my black turtle neck sweater some brown high boots and some long necklaces. I brushed my long red hair and let it hang down, I put on some mascara and lip gloss. After one last look in the mirror I walked out of the dorm quietly and slowly. I could feel the pressure of the bruises on my back.

The common room was pretty empty except for a few late stragglers. Breakfast usually stayed open later on Saturday and Sunday then it does on the week day. I waved to a few second years as I exited the common room and started my walk to the great hall. I was hoping that JT would not be in the great hall yet. I wasn't ready to face him, I knew my hope was in vain seeing as JT was an early riser all the time.

"Lily!"

I turned and saw James exiting the common room. I internally groaned, great just what I needed JT to see me and James talking together. My bruises seemed to pulse at the thought of JT.

"Hey James. Poppy let you out?" I said forcing a smile. But James wasn't smiling.

"Yes, she let me out about 15 minutes after you left. I got to the common room right after you went to bed." He said with a knowing look.

"How did you know when I went to bed?" I asked confused.

"Can we talk? Privately?"

"Um. Yay sure." I looked around trying to figure out where he wanted to talk. James walked around me and opened a door that lead to an unused classroom. James held the door open for me, he was avoiding my eyes as I walked in. He was acting weird. He closed the door quietly and took a few deep breaths before turning towards me and giving me a hard stare.

"Lily, what happened last night?"

"What do you mean what happened last night? In the hospital wing?" I asked feeling more and more confused as the conversation went on.

"No I know what was going on there. I was going to kiss you." He said bluntly, I was shocked by his bluntness. "What did Sirius walk in on?"

I froze. Oh no, Sirius told him that JT and me were fighting, he must be worried that I told JT what happened in the wing.

"Look, don't worry I didn't tell JT what happened. He doesn't even know you were in there while I was on my shift. He won't come up to you. "I made for the door feeling stupid that I was in here with him. He must have thought that I was such a stupid little girl who wanted to cause drama in his life. As I reached for the door knob James pushed himself in front of the door blocking my escape.

"Lily, I wasn't worried about that. I wanted to know what Sirius saw."

Oh. I looked up at him with wide eyes. He wanted to know what JT did to me.

"Lily, please tell me." He begged quietly.

"Nothing. He was kissing me good night is all."

"Does he always pin you against the wall with his forearm pressed against your throat and his hand covering your mouth?" James hissed.

My eyes grew wide and my bruises throbbed. Sirius saw everything, and he told James. Why would he tell James though?"

"How...why would Sirius tell you?"

"So it's true?" He asked his own eyes growing wide.

"That's not the point." I argued, "Why would Sirius tell you? As of yesterday we never even talked!"

"I told him I was in the hospital wing getting patched up and that you took care of me. He told me what he saw."

I sighed and walked over to one of the desks in the room and sat on it. I felt James come up and sit next to me.

"Does he do that often?" He whispered his voice strained.

"Not too often." I admitted "He only does when he is really upset with me."

James reached over and grasped my hand. "You need to tell someone."

"I just did. You know you're the only one who knows. Well, except Sirius I suppose seeing as he suspected it. "

"Lily." He whispered looking at me with sad eyes. "I don't want to get involved in this unless I know I can really help you. I don't want trouble with JT, and I don't want to make it worse with you and JT. But I don't want him to hurt you. I meant what I said I want someone like you as a friend. But I can't get involved unless I know you want my help."

"James." I hopped off of the desk and turned to him slowly. I studied his eyes, he looked upset, more upset then I felt he should have. "I told you, it's complicated. I don't think anyone can help me."

He grabbed my face softly and held it in between his hands as if exerted too much pressure it would shatter. "Lily," His breath blew on my face and I was dazed momentarily, he is beautiful. "I want to help." He leaned his forehead against my own looking into my eyes, they were silently begging me to let him. "Please."

"You cant." I whispered softly. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent once more and turned away sharply only to be grabbed by James. I couldn't help it as I gasped out in pain.

"Lily?" James cried out as I sunk to the ground gasping for breath. "Lily what is it?"

I tried to catch my breath as he lowered himself to the ground and tried to touch me. He kept going to grab me but hesitated as if unsure where to touch me. I was grateful he hesitated.

"It's okay. Please just give me a second, you just grabbed onto my arm where he…" I trailed off.

James eyes darkened at my words. He gently grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up to reveal my bruises. He traced his fingers over them light as feathers. James eyes met mine and he looked angry. So very angry and not angry at me, but at the situation I was in.

"Are these from him?" He hissed.

"Yes." I whispered not looking at them.

"Are there more?"

"Yes." I whispered again. I felt so ashamed. I couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"Where?"

"Where?"

"Where are the other bruises Lily?"

"On my um…my neck… and my back…"

"Can I see?"

"You want to see the bruises? I was going to go to the hospital wing and get some bruising lotion when I resign today."

"Wait you're quitting the hospital wing." James looked at me in shock.

"Yes, I have to. JT was mad I was so late last night, that's why he did this because I picked up and extra shift last night so Alice could study for potions. He wasn't happy and that's why he grabbed me and did this." I looked back down away from James. I was so ashamed that he knew everything now.

"Lily, please show me."

I looked at him and slowly pulled the top of my sweater down revealing my neck so James could look at the bruises. He grimaced as he saw the discoloration.

"Lily," He whispered as he stroked these bruises just as he did with the bruises on my arm. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, nothing new." He got a dark look as I said that. "The back is worse."

"I bet, Sirius said he had you pinned pretty hard."

"Yeah he did, I couldn't move at all. He slammed me so hard my head hit and the whole room started to spin." I grabbed James hand and rubbed it on the knot on the back of my head. He winced.

"You don't deserve this."

"Yeah, that's what I tell myself. It doesn't change anything though."

"It should." James and I stared at each other again and I felt the jump in my stomach again. James was staring at my eyes and lips back and forth. He leaned in and placed his lips onto my lips gently.

It felt right, it was the most amazing feeling I have ever had in my life. I don't think a kiss ever meant more than this one. It was special so much more then JT's ever have been.

James pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine and stared into my eyes. I couldn't help but smile, a true smile.

"James," I whispered. "I don't know what to say."

"At time you don't have to say anything. I know I probably shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it." James pleaded quietly.

"I know. I don't want you to get mixed up in this." Truthfully I wanted nothing more than to stay in this classroom with James and not have anyone bother us. Especially JT.

"I know. "

"We should go." I said, "He will be looking for me."

"I know." James pulled us to our feet. And wrapped his arms around me in a soft hug, trying not to touch my back to much because of the bruises. "Come on."

We entered the empty corridor and began the descent down to the great fall. Not talking at all, we just kept sneaking shy glances at each other. My lips were still tingling from his kiss. I looked over at James and saw a small smile on his face and knew he was thinking about the same thing as me.

"Wait" I said as we were about to round the corner that leads to the great hall. "I don't think we should walk in together. I don't want JT to notice anything." I rubbed my throat softly.

"Okay, I'll go in first shall I?" James teased with a wink and proceeded to the great hall. I counted to 30 then followed in.

The first thing I saw was JT and Brian sitting at the end of the table not too far away from the Marauders. James was talking to Sirius and Sirius looked like he was about to kill someone. No doubt about what James was telling him. They both looked up as I walked into the Great Hall, I gave them a frantic stare and walked over to sit by JT and Brian. Brian greeted me as I approached them and JT grabbed my arm very deliberately grabbing on to my bruise and jerked me to sit by him.

"Where were you?" He hissed angrily.

"I overslept." I jerked my arm out of his grasp.

"Yeah I can tell you look awful." He said loud enough for everyone around us to hear. My face instantly flushed.

"I'm tired okay?"

"Yeah that's always your excuse Lily." He growled.

"Hey JT, those asshole Marauders are staring at us." Brian whispered and I spilt a little bit of my pumpkin juice.

"Fuck Lily," JT growled snatching his napkin and whipping the pumpkin juice I spilt on him.

"I'm sorry!" I cried as I grabbed my wand and said_ scorigify_ to get rid of the spill. "See no harm it's all gone." I gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, thanks Lily." He snarled "What did you say Brian?"

"Those guys were staring at us." He nodded towards James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Whatever." JT got up. "Come on Lily."

"What I just got here, I hardly even ate!"

"Well you shouldn't have slept in Lily. Come on were going to the common room."

I sighed and got up and stood while Brian shoved whatever else he could in his mouth before following his master. JT started talking to some Ravenclaw 6th years. I turned towards James and saw his eyes on me. His eyes full of sympathy. He was shaking his head no; behind him I could see Alice and her boyfriend Frank watching me as well. Alice's eyes were full of concern as she watched me. My eyes went back to James who was standing up and looked like he was about to come over to me.

_No _I mouthed to him. What was he thinking? He shook his head at me in a pleading manner and looked at JT then at me and shook his head again. I shrugged my shoulders. JT turned back towards me and put his arm around my back squeezing my side so his hand hit my back roughly. Making my face pale, while JT talked to Brian I let my eyes drift to James who was pulled back down by Sirius. Sirius was whispering urgently to James and James looked even more upset then when he saw the bruises. James's eyes widened with understanding, he leaned towards Remus and whispered urgently to him. Whatever he said Remus nodded and looked over at me and JT.

"Lily, are you paying attention?" JT scolded.

"Sorry I was just looking for Bri." I whispered instantly regretting it, JT hated Bri. He rolled his eyes at me and pulled me towards the door.

"Come on were going to the common room. When we get there go fix yourself up. People are going to start thinking you don't care about yourself."

I rolled my eyes and followed, feeling James's eyes on me as I went out. I turned my head slightly and saw James and the rest of the Marauders get up from the table and follow us out of the Great Hall. I sighed internally and looked back to JT and Brian hoping they didn't notice my distraction.

"Hey Lily!" I heard someone yell from behind me.

I froze and felt JT jerk us to turn around to the voice. I saw Remus Lupin running towards me. My eyes grew wide as I saw James and the others waiting not far from us, they were trying to look uninterested but I could tell by James's stance he was worried.

"Hey Remus." I said quickly. JT's gripped me harder, pulling me as close as possible, his usual reaction when another guy talked to me. He wanted to show I was his.

"McGonagall says she needs to see all of the prefects and the heads in the room off of the Great Hall for a meeting."

"Really? I thought our meeting was Tuesday?"

"It is, but she said it's something about changing patrols." He answered quickly looking at me pointedly.

"Oh okay." I stepped away from JT and turned towards him. "I'll meet you after?"

"We will wait for you." He said grasping my arm.

"It could take a while." Remus interjected.

"Yeah." I looked at JT, "It's okay JT, I'll be up after its done. You two go on." I could talk with more assurance knowing that JT wouldn't try anything while everyone was around. Appearances meant a lot to him and he hated losing face.

"Alright baby," He gave me a fake smile "I'll see you after." He grabbed my waist and kissed me roughly. I saw James look up at the ceiling away from JT and me.

I pulled away quickly. "Right."

JT and Brian started walking away talking in rushed voices looking back at me and Remus until they were around the corner. I stood there counting to 60 before I turned to Remus and was surprised to see James, Sirius, and Peter join us.

"When do we need to meet McGonagall?" I asked Remus trying to avoid James's eyes.

"We aren't." Remus said with a knowing smile.

"What? But you said that she wanted to talk to us about patrols."

"We just wanted to give you a day off." Sirius explained

"A day off!" My eyes jumped to James. "I can't! I have to go, oh my god." I panicked and turned to go back to the Gryffindor common room.

"Lily, we just cleared your day for you, you won't have to skirt around JT all day." James said grabbing my hand. I looked towards the direction that JT and Brian just left.

"Oh no." I cried staring in that direction. JT was gonna kill me if he found out we lied to him.

"Lily." James came up to me and looked right into my eyes, "I won't let him touch you, you're okay."

I stared at him and sighed. "Okay, fine. What are we doing?"

"You're about to experience how to live like a Marauder." Sirius said with a wink.

"Is this safe?" I asked with a slight giggle.

"Oh trust me, James isn't going to let anything happen to you."

I smiled as Sirius, Remus and Peter started walking towards what I knew led to the Hufflepuff common room. I looked up at James and he extended his arm motioning for me to follow the other guys.

"We are going to start by taking you to the kitchens, after you have been well fed we are going to show you how the Marauders like to have a little fun."


	6. Chapter 6 Everyone Knows

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Run by hazellily  
Chapter 6 : Every one knows

**Rating:** Mature

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"Come on James! Put me down!" I yelled as James flung me over his shoulder and began to run around the kitchens at Hogwarts. The house elves were watching as if they had never seen something as humorous as us.

"Not a chance flower, you're not going to escape we are taking you to Hogsmeade whether you like it or not!" James started doing a weird dance as Sirius, Remus, and Peter made towards the door.

"Okay you win, I'll go with you and not complaint just put me down!"

"I knew I'd win." James replied cheekily as he set me gently on the replica of the Gryffindor table that the House elves use to magically transport the meals to the students.

"Yea yea." I laughed as I followed the guys out of the kitchen.

"Don't walk away from me young lady! You have no idea where you are going."

"James," I laughed as I started in the direction of the Entrance Hall. "It's not like I've never been to Hogsmeade before."

"You haven't with the marauders" Sirius said draping his arm around my shoulders earning him a dirty look from James.

"Exactly Lils," James smacked Sirius on the back of his head and pulled me to him gently putting his arm around my waist.

"Moony did you see him hit me!" Sirius cried indignantly, "She isn't even his girlfriend and she is off limits to me." Sirius pouted as Remus laughed.

"Any ways, how are we going to get there?"

"Just follow us, Lily, we will show you our secret ways." Peter chirped in.

"Okay." I laughed as we walked up the grand stair case.

I was watching Remus and Peter try to push Sirius into the trick step. I can't remember the last time I had laughed so hard. These boys were amazing. I looked up to see James staring down at me his eyes twinkling. He had a smile that was infectious; as soon as he smiled I had to smile too. I started laughing for no reason at all.

"What's so funny?" James asked me

"I honestly don't know, I'm just happy and its making me laugh. I have no idea why."

James smiled even bigger.

"I'm telling you Brian I don't think there was a meeting." JT's voice floated down the hall.

I froze where I was and stared at James in horror. Sirius quickly grabbed my arm and pushed me into a classroom off to the right. I gasped out as I was ripped away from James; quickly I turned towards the door only to be pushed back by Remus.

Remus grabbed my hand and pulled me down to crouch next to the door.

"What are you doing in here?" I whispered

"We are suppose to be in a meeting remember?" he hissed pressing his finger to his lips.

"Potter!" JT yelled

"Yes?" James said in a cocky voice. JT hated the marauders but James especially it was no surprise that JT would be anything less then rude to him.

"Where are your scrawny friend and my girlfriend?"

"You mean Remus? He is at the prefects meeting along with Lily." Sirius replied in an uncaring voice.

"That's funny, I heard that there wasn't a meeting and I assumed that my girlfriend had you lie for her."

"Well you know what they say when you assume." James hissed with venom dripping from his voice.

"What did you say?" JT snapped.

"Seriously Martin if I were you I would clear off before something bad happens to you."

"Whatever idiots, if you see Lily tell her I'm looking for her, I have things to discuss with her."

I could hear him and Brian walk away. I moved to open the door but Remus pulled my hand down.

"Not yet, James will open the door for us when it is clear."

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. I leaned against the wall and felt Remus staring at me.

"He's really that bad?" He asked, "I mean James and Sirius said he was bad but the fear on your face Lily, it scares me."

I just stared at him, this was a mistake I should not be doing this what on earth was I thinking? I was dragging these boys into my problem, my problem that I so desperately needed to take care of. I felt the tears start falling.

The door slowly opened and Remus stood up offering me his hand, all I did was stare at it. I couldn't move, I was frozen.

"You guys okay?" Sirius asked as the other three joined us in the classroom.

"I'm good" Remus whispered, "But I think Lily is having a moment."

Instantly James was kneeling in front of me. "Lils? Are you okay?"

I just stared at him, memorizing his face. He really was beautiful and his face was so kind. I can't remember the last time that JT stared at me. In that instant I knew that James cared a lot more then I thought he did. And quite honestly I did not like it. It wasn't fair to him to let him care so much for me. We shouldn't even be friends.

"I have to go." I whispered.

"Go? Go where?" James asked quickly looking at the other guys then back to me.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry." I stood up quickly and while they were stun at my sudden movement I made for the door.

I ran to the nearest girls restroom and hurdled myself through the door alarming some first years as I did so. I needed to be alone. Quickly I opened the door to the first empty stall I saw and sat on the toilet and let it all out. I cried, I cried for the fact that I was in this situation, that I was stuck with JT because I couldn't bear to breakup with him because I knew that even if he doesn't show it deep down he does care for me and that ending our relationship would crush him. I cried because I was unhappy, I cried because I was stuck and there was nothing I could do to remove myself from my own hell I was building. I cried for James, for those few hours I have been with him I had started to see what I could have. That I could be happy and have a caring guy and a great group of friends. I cried cause there wasn't a thing I could do about any of this.

"Are you okay?" One of the little first years asked. I tried to say yes but I couldn't make out any words. There was an unfamiliar ripping sound coming from some where, I jumped in alarm looking around like mad trying to find where the sound was coming from. It took me only a minute to discover that the sound was in deed coming from me. I was sobbing, I can't remember the last time I cried so hard I sobbed; this thought made me sob more.

"Maybe we should go get someone." Another girl whispered.

"N-n-n-n-o, I-I-m f-f-f-ine." I chocked out.

"Okay, come on guys." I heard the girls walk away.

I couldn't help but cry harder knowing I was completely alone now. The crying was helping; it was one thing I felt like I could control; especially now when I felt like I had no control in my life at all.

"Do you think she is in there?" I heard Remus voice echo off the walls.

"I thought I heard someone crying." Peter's voice floated towards me making me cover my mouth quickly.

"We can't go in there it's a girls bathroom." Remus whispered.

"Hang on" James. My heart sunk hearing his voice.

Then everything went quiet. There was no sound at all I released my mouth from my hand and chocked back another sob. Just as I was trying to find another breath the stall door opened, my eyes widened, but no one appeared to be there.

Just as I was about to close the door again a hand appeared grabbing my wrist to prevent me from closing it. I felt my eyes widen as James pulled off some shimmery material and appeared out of thin air.

"Lily." He chocked quietly.

I didn't say anything. I knew if I tried only more sobs would come out, and the last thing I needed right now was to be swept into James's arms again. I looked down at his shoes and tried to control my breathing.

"Lily, I want to help." I continued to stare at his shoes. "Seriously Lily I'm not going to let him hurt you."

"You can't stop him James," I whispered. "You can't say that you won't let him hurt me cause no matter what he will. If you tried to stop him it will only be worse. If he knew we were together he'd kill me. There is nothing any one can do!"

"Yes there is! Lily, you can stop him! Just end it!" James yelled in exasperation.

"It's not that east!"

"I don't see how its not, stand up to him! Tell him you don't want to be with him, that you deserve to be treated better. For Merlin's sake Lily use your back bone!"

My head snapped up at that, "Use my back bone! James maybe you didn't see exactly what he is capable of! What do you want me to do!?" I stood up in front of him, "Oh hi JT, sorry rotten timing and all that but I don't want to date you anymore. Sorry but I kind of cheated on you with James Potter. Oh silly me!"

"No tell him that you are through with being treated like shit." James yelled at me.

"James do you honestly think I haven't before? I've been trying for over a year now!"

"Doesn't seem like it."

"That's rich coming from a guy who has only acknowledged my existence for a whole 24 hours! Wow, why don't I just take your advice! It's full proof!"

"Lily, I don't want to fight with you."

"James you have no idea what you walked into. You're coming in the middle of the storm, you can't help. No one can."

I went to walk around him and he grabbed my shoulder and pressed me into the stall, I froze. The tears stopped coming and my breathing stopped. It was as if JT had me pressed up against the wall again. I stared at James petrified. His arms slowly moved down to my waist, his eyes never left mine. Then I saw it, he wasn't angry there was something in his eyes that I never saw before. Fire, the kind of fire you only read about in racy romance novels. My body loosened as it realized that I was not in danger, James wouldn't hurt me.

One of his arms gently moved up to cup my face, he held my face as if it was the most precious thing in the world, as if I was made of the most beautifully hand crafted glass in the world.

"Lily," He whispered softly moving his head just above my ear, "I will never hurt you, and as long as I am around and can prevent it no one will ever lay a hand on you again."

"I know," I managed to whisper, "but it's complicated, I don't want you to get hurt James."

"I won't I promise. Lily, I need you."

"I need you." I turned my head and looked into his beautiful eyes

He stared back at me with his crooked smile and pulled me in for a kiss.

It wasn't like the kiss from this morning, it was soft and gentle as if he was giving me a promise that only we could understand. I smiled against his lips as his tongue softly swept across them. I sighed as I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth. He teasingly played with my tongue making me moan softly. James grabbed me around my waist and pulled me closer. Too soon he moved his mouth off mine and kissed my forehead gently moving his hands to whip away the tears that had fallen from my eyes.

I pressed my forehead against James and stared into his eyes. "You're amazing James."

"Lily, only for you." He whispered

"What are we going to do?"

"Well we might have to take a rein check for the trip to Hogsmeade, its getting late, dinner is about to start."

"Darn I wanted to hang out with you and the guys some more." I said with a sad pout on my face.

"Well sweetheart, I had an idea about how we can still hang out."

"Oh and how is that?"

"Bri."

"Bri? How will she get me to hang out with you guys?"

"Sirius asked her to the next Hogsmeade trip when we saw her after you ran away. She said she would sit with him at dinner."

"So you want me to join you guys?"

"Yes, that's the plan."

"JT?"

James stiffened slightly, "He won't touch you Lils."

"I don't know James, He will be furious, especially since he hasn't seen me all day." I said sadly.

"I know, I'm not going to make you do any thing you don't want to do Lily. But you need to take care of this situation."

"I know, I need to man up and handle this."

"So are you going to sit with us at dinner?"

"Yes." I said as I pulled him into another soft kiss. "We had better get to dinner then before Sirius eats it all."

"HEY! I heard that!" Sirius's voice echoed into the bathroom. I looked at James with my eye brows raised.

"Hey this IS a girl's bathroom, I needed a look out. Peter and Remus are already down at the Great Hall eating."

"Well we better hurry," I grabbed my wand and waved it at my face and my face was cleared of all make up and tears. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful."

James took my hand and led me to the door where Sirius was waiting for us.

"Are we all made up and happy now?" Sirius teased staring down at our interlocked hands. I squeezed James hand one last time before letting go.

"We better get to dinner before you die of starvation" I teased pushing Sirius, "Plus we don't want to keep my best friend waiting."

"Exactly follow me!" Sirius marched off in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Did you hear that Dumbledore had an announcement to make at dinner tonight?" James asked, I shook my head I must have missed it. "He said it before we got to breakfast this morning, Remus told me."

"I wonder what it is going to be."

We continued in silence sneaking glances at one another. My stomach was being assaulted by butterflies. JT was going to be furious that I was with the Marauders and even more furious that I was sitting with them and Bri. I sighed softly as we reached the doors, I looked at James and he saw my hesitation. He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a suit of armor. Sirius watched with amusement before sauntering into the great hall.

"Lily? You ok?" James whispered softly.

"Yes. I am. Just don't leave me alone tonight?" I pleaded.

"Not a chance Lils." He kissed my check and pulled me away from our hiding spot and towards the great hall.

"In we go." He dropped my hand and started walking giving me no choice but to follow.

"So you think Bri likes Sirius?" James asked keeping me distracted "Don't look so scared" He whispered so only I could hear.

I put a fake smile on my face and turned to look at him. "Yea she is totally taken by him thinks he's the hottest guy in school as a matter of fact." I laughed a little.

"And who do you think the hottest guy in school is?" He teased wiggling his eye brows at me.

"Remus of course." I said nonchalantly.

"What? That's not fair" He pouted.

"Oh hush up. Where are they sitting?" I looked around trying to find my best friend and caught sight of not only her but JT sitting not too far away from Bri, Sirius, Remus and Peter. He was staring daggers at me and James as we walked in. James sensed my distraction and looked in the direction I was staring at. He smiled at JT and turned to me nodding his head to where our friends were sitting. I took a deep breath and smiled at JT giving him a little wave and pointed to Bri and smiled. He shook his head no at me but I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to follow James.

James motioned me to sit next to Bri I smiled up at him and sat down; he took the spot next to me. I looked at Bri who gave me a confused stare. I just smiled at her and turned to say hi to Sirius, who looked very please with himself. It took me a second to figure out why. Then I laughed. While I was in between Bri and James with Sirius on Bri's other side JT couldn't see me. I felt reassured at this and looked at James who winked at me and took my hand under the table. I smiled feeling instantly more calm and helped myself to some Sheppard's Pie.

Dinner was hands down the most amazing dinner I have had in a very long time. I haven't laughed so hard since I can remember. Not only did I sit with the Marauders and Bri, but we were joined by Alice and Frank as well. I was in a protective shield and JT couldn't budge in. Sirius said he kept glaring dagger in our direction, which thanks to him, JT could not see me.

James never let go of my hand through out the entire dinner, which was quiet okay with me and lucky for him because he was left handed. Dinner flowed into dessert before I was ready for it to be over. Just as Sirius and James were fighting over the last treckle tart the dessert's vanished making the rest of us laugh at their sad faces.

James turned to me with a pout on his lips. "I didn't get enough sweets," Making us all laugh. Then he whispered in my ear so only I could hear. "Will you give me something sweet later?" making me blush and whisper yes back to him.

"Students!" A voice rang out in the hall, quickly all talking subdued and Professor Dumbledore had the entire hall's attention. "I would at this time request that all the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th year students please leave the great hall." There was a shuffle as the younger students left the great hall mumbling curiously. Dumbledore stood with a smile on his face as he waited for them to leave.

"Well now, I suppose you are wondering why I have kept you all here. I have a rather exciting announcement to make. We will be having a Halloween ball for all of the 5th, 6th and 7th year students. However, we wanted to make the experience a little more fun for you all. We will be having a contest. Starting next week we will be having a ballroom dance class that all of you will be required to attend. Your head of the house has the list of the partners and will be telling you after you are excused or if you wish you may look at the list in the common room. The dance will be costume so be creative please, we will have a winner for best costume, best costumed couple, as well as best dance routine. Classes will be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and if you wish extra practice they will be held on the weekends. You're partner will be with in your own year and house. You are dismissed."

I turned to James who was looking at every one else excitedly. "That will be fun!"

"I love dressing up!" Sirius exclaimed like a little first year.

"Shall we go ask McGonagall who is partnered with whom?" Alice asked.

"No let's go to the common room guys." Remus said "McGonagall looks a little stressed. And indeed she did she was currently surrounded by all the girls in Gryffindor minus Bri, Alice and myself.

I squeezed James hand one last time and let go. Bri and Alice were instantly at my side pulling me up and dragging me away from the guys who ran to catch up. I turned to see James and Sirius pushing each other to be the first to catch us, leaving Remus, Peter and Frank behind. I could see JT in the crowd talking to some Ravenclaw's but his eyes were on me. I quickly looked away and felt James fall into step taking Bri's place as she walked with Sirius grabbing his hand.

"I told you he won't touch you." James said rubbing my arm quickly. I smiled at him and knew that while he was with me nothing would happen.

"So I don't know about you guys but I am excited for this ballroom class." I said happily.

"I just hope I get partnered with someone who is cool." Sirius said "Not like Bri." Bri smacked his arm playfully.

We continued laughing and joking all the way up to the common room. I could feel someone watching us from behind though. I wanted to look around but was too nervous to.

"He's back there a ways." Alice whispered quietly.

"I know I can feel him staring."

"Are you going to explain to me what is happening?"

"As soon as I can, I promise."

Sirius quickly gave the fat lady the password and we all hurried into the common room. The younger classmen were looking put out, I guess the must have seen the notice.

Alice ran towards the board and read the notice to us all.

Attention Gryffindor house, the following are the list of your partners and times of ballroom class. Do not complain about the pairings, they were randomly selected and can not be changed.

6th years

Alice Prewitt- Frank Longbottom

Cheyanne Wilson- Remus Lupin

Paris Charvaey- JT Martin

Bethany Crouch- Brian McCurdy

Layla Ginger- Peter Petigrew

Briana Othon- Sirius Black

Lily Evans- James Potter

I looked at James who had a bold smile on his face.

"Looks like we will be spending a lot of time together." He said with a laugh making me smile. "Doesn't look like he is too pleased though."

I turned in time to see JT storming over to a chair by the fire and collapsing in it yelling at two 3rd years to clear off.

"Maybe I should go talk to him." I whispered, "He won't do anything while there are so many people around."

"Yea" James sighed "you should do it especially while me and the guys are here, we will be right behind you guys at the table, okay?"

I nodded and walked towards the chair where JT was sitting.

"Hey JT." I said with a smile on my face acting like nothing was wrong.

"He Lily." He replied in a cold tone. "Have a good dinner?" he ask sarcastically

"Yea it was nice hanging out with my friends." I said in a care free tone trying not to sound afraid.

"I didn't realize that James Potter was your friend." He hissed quietly pulling my arm so I was pulled onto his lap. He put his arms around me and acted like we were cuddling.

"Bri has a date with Sirius, I couldn't help that they were sitting by us." I whispered back.

"You walked in with him," He squeezed me into him making his chest press hard into my back making me whimper out loud.

"He saw me looking for Bri and told me she was going to sit with them."

"You should not have sat with them, I felt so stupid when you sat with them instead of me."

"I didn't think that it would make you mad, I'm sorry." I whispered as he pressed harder into my back.

"That's the problem, you didn't think." He let me go and I took a deep breath. I hopped off his lap, I looked over the chair and saw James and the others staring at us in interest. I leaned down towards JT and looked him in the eye feeling braver then I ever have. I smiled sweetly at him.

"I did think, about me for once." I smiled bigger, "Sorry if you have a problem with that, but you can't control me anymore, JT."

JT grabbed my wrist and pulled hard making me cry out, instantly the room went quiet.

"I can do what ever I please Lily, you're mine." Every one was staring.

"Let me go JT, people are watching." JT looked up and saw the entire common room staring at us. He changed his expression instantly moved his fingers to interlock with my own and pulled my hand up to kiss it.

"I'm sorry Petal, I love you. I just missed you is all." He stood up and let go of my hand as he turned to go up the stair case. Leaving me yet again staring in fear. He might have sounded apologetic but if there was one thing I knew about JT was that losing face pissed him off and I haven't seen the last of that fight.

I turned and saw my friends standing there with James, all of their eyes were wide, for once they all witnessed JT lose his cool. I looked around and saw the entire house staring at me their eyes full of pity.

I turned and ran out of the common room.

Every one knew.


	7. Chapter 7 A New Level

Nothing can keep you awake as much as knowing what the day ahead has in store for you. Honestly, I was terrified. Absolutely terrified to death, like to the point jumping off the astronomy tower seemed like a great idea. Okay, maybe that was too drastic, maybe I should just go to Professor Dumbledore and beg him to let me go home. I just needed to get away from all of this mess. I sighed and rolled over onto my back dragging myself up to lean against the wall. My curtains were pulled around my four poster bed in an attempt to hide myself from my friends and the other 2 girls I share a dorm with. I didn't want to be bothered after the spectacle that was made in the common room tonight. My stomach dropped as I thought of JT's face once again. He was going to kill me.

After JT had retreated from out little confrontation that wasn't exactly small at all the common room was a buzz with what they had just witnessed. Was perfect prefect Lily Evans being abused by loner JT? What was the marauders part in it? I heard the gossip start promptly as I stood there frozen staring in the direction that JT had departed too. I knew this was bad, its been bad before but this, this was really bad. I felt my eyes glaze over as I remembered what had happened.

Of course my friends including James and the rest of the marauders had rushed to my side.

"You guys better all find something better to do quickly before I start cursing all of you!" Sirius roared at the on looking students in the common room. Quickly they all turned back to what ever they were doing before mine and JT's fight.

"Oh no," I whispered as it dawned on me how many people saw, the entire Gryffindor house had witnessed it.

"Lily," James moved closer towards me "Lily, it's okay."

"No," I shook my head quickly, "No it won't me. It'll never be okay." I felt the tears prickling in my eyes. But I batted my eyes quickly praying they wouldn't fall. I couldn't have everyone see me breaking down like this.

"Lily," James grabbed my hand but I flinched away staring at him in fear.

"Look James, you're walking in on the middle of the game kid," Briana said as she grabbed my arm pulling me towards her and Alice, "You don't know the extent of what JT can do, this is bad. Real bad." Briana looked at me with fearful eyes.

Of course it was bad, Alice and Briana of all people knew that. They have been there so many times when I was a wreck after JT and I had had a row. But this wasn't a row, this was JT losing the one thing he was so determined to keep, control.

"We want to help you." Remus whispered softy.

"You can't help me." I whispered looking at James sadly. "It's my problem, not yours."

"Lily," James grabbed me in a tight hug holding me close. I sighed breathing in his scent. This is what it felt like to be cared for. This is what I wanted to have, just someone to hold me as if I was their whole world. JT hasn't done that in the years we have been dating. James held me like that and we had only been talking for less then 48 hours. How different it all felt.

I lost track of how long we stood their holding each other. I could hear our friends whispering quietly next to us but all I cared about was the James keep me in his arms. It wasn't until I heard Alice say "shit" that I opened my eyes. Staring at me from behind James back was Brian, JT's one and only lackey looking at me with the nastiest glare. My eyes widened in fear, he would tell JT. Brian looked at me one last time this time with an evil smile and turned towards the boys dormitory.

Quickly I pulled away from James who looked bewildered at the sudden lost of contact. I looked from Alice to Briana each one wearing an equally horrified look as I was.

"I'm sorry." I murmured to the others as I turned away and ran to my dormitory as quickly as possible. I heard James yell my name at my retreating back but I didn't stop to look at him. I had to get away, and quickly. Brian would tell JT that I was hugging James, and who knew how JT would react. All I knew was it was going to be bad, real bad.

I glanced at the alarm clock by my bed. 5AM. I haven't slept at all. It wasn't like I would get any now. I heaved myself off of my bed and tip toed into the bathroom that was connected to our dormitory. Avoiding my reflection because I knew I looked terrible I went straight to the shower. Shakily I washed my hair with my favorite shampoo and conditioner, washed my body and took great care shaving my legs because I was shaking so badly.

After getting out of the shower I decided I had better put some makeup on, maybe looking my best would appease JT enough where he wouldn't kill me too horrifically. Carefully I put on foundation, powder, blush, smoky green and charcoal eye shadow, along with black eye liner and mascara to make my eyes pop, and some pale pink lip gloss. I dried my hair magically letting it cascade down my back in loose curls. Looking in the mirror I smiled slightly I looked like a porcelain doll. JT should be pleased. Scoffing I stuck my tongue out at my reflection and walked back to the dormitory.

The other girls were all still asleep, I glanced at the clock 630 AM. Wow I took over an hour to get ready, that's a first. Giggling sarcastically I turned to my wardrobe to find something suitable to wear, it was Saturday after all. I grabbed my favorite dark wash skinny jeans and a form fitting Green long sleeve shirt that dipped kinda low to show off my assets, laughing sardonically I pulled on my clothes and slipped on my sparkly black high heels. Yup I looked like a total bimbo, there you go JT.

Grabbing my black leather jacket I crept out of the dormitory and descended the stairs. No one was in the common room yet; guess the students were taking advantage of the weekend. I mad my exit out of the common room already deciding that I didn't want to chance any one seeing me yet.

Absent mindly I began to roam the halls, it was still a little to early for breakfast so I couldn't go to the great hall yet. As I walked down the 5th floor corridor I saw 2 Owls flying outside the window in the pale sky. Smiling I turned and ran as quickly as I could in heels to get to the ground floor. I knew exactly where to go. I pushed open the entrance doors and trotted down the walk way heading towards the great lake. Smiling contently I kicked off my heels and padded bare foot to my favorite tree not even bothering to pick up my shoes. Slowly I sat down on the soft green grass and stared out at the lake watching as the sun greeted the sky. Birds were chirping loudly singing their songs to start the day, the lake was slapping softly at the sand. It was so peaceful, I finally felt like I was relaxing. Laying back I closed my eyes finally descending into sleep.

"How long do you think she has been here?" A voice entered my peaceful dream.

"I don't know when we woke up she wasn't in our dorm, we thought she went to talk the JT. Ya know, before everyone else woke up." Another voice hissed.

"I hope not." Another voice grunted but this one seemed angrier.

"James you can't stop her!" Alice's voice hissed.

"She needs help!"

"You can't help her!" Briana yelled.

"I can! I want to!"

"You don't know the situation!" Alice chipped in

"I'll ask her."

"She won't tell you."

"Yes she will."

"No she won't."

"Trust me she will!"

"You don't know her!"

"I know her enough!"  
"Oh yea? You've talked to her all of what? 2 days!"

"That doesn't matter!"

"You guys know I can hear you right?" I finally voiced.

I opened my eyes and sat up to see Briana and James nose to nose both completely red in the face.

"Lily how long have you been out here?" Alice asked offering a hand to help me up.

"Since about 630. Why? What time is it now?"

"Just after 7." Remus smiled.

"Was JT in the dormitory?" I ask hopefully.

"No he left about 10 minutes before we did. He rushed out of there quickly." Peter chimed in.

"I need to go talk to him." I looked around and saw that Sirius had my heels, he quickly handed them to me. I slipped them on and started walking away and James grabbed me.

"Don't go alone." James whispered. "Please."

"I have to, JT hates you guys and the girls aren't much better in his opinion. I need to do this alone." I looked down at his hand which was still locked on my forearm. "James let me go."

He sighed letting go and stepped back. "Just be careful." I nod and walk quickly back to the castle.

Once inside I duck into the girl's bathroom and take a quick look at myself. Hair was still beautifully curled and make was still flawless. Taking a deep breath I walk out and head to the great hall where I know JT awaits.

I see him before he sees me. He is in deep conversation with Brian casting furtive glances down towards the end of the table. My eyes follow his glare and see that he is staring at Alice, Briana and the marauders. Taking a deep breath I continue to walk towards him, James looks at me which alerts JT to my presence. He looks me up and down in approval and stands up as I reach him.

"Lily," He whispers as I reach him.

"Hi." I smile slightly not quite sure of his mood,

JT takes me into his arms and holds me softly pressing me into his chest. I gingerly wrap my arms around his middle and hug him back. He pulls back and kisses my forehead.

"Hungry?" He asks me with a smile.

"Starving." I say in a shaky voice, he motions for me to sit down. I do as he wants and stare up at him, he smiles and sits next to me.

"What would you like? Pancakes? I know they are your favorite." He puts two fluffy pancakes onto my dish.

"Thanks JT." I grab some syrup and dig in.

"You look amazing by the way Petal."

I look up in shock, a slight bewildered look on my face. JT never compliments me.

"Thank you." I say taken back.

"Your welcome love." JT turns back to his food and starts shoveling food into his mouth in his usual disgusting manner.

I shake my head and continue eating until I am full to bust.

"Are you done Lily?" JT asks.

"Yes, I think so." I say as I stand up and look around. James and the others are still looking at me. I smile and wave to them. JT sees and grabs my hand making me stop but he doesn't let go, he wraps it so out fingers intertwine.

"Take a walk with me?" JT pulls our hands up to brush my cheek. I stare into his deep brown eyes and smile.

"That'd be nice." I pull him forward and start walking out of the great hall.

JT leads the way in silence. I can't help but feel bewildered at his behavior, it's like this is his way to apologize and it feels so nice.

JT stops and pushes me up against the corridor wall, he brushes his lips against mine roughly quickly deepening the kiss so that I am breathless and have to pull away. I look up at JT and see his eyes are opened and there is a fire in them. I smile up at him and he grins down.

"Come with me." He grabs my hand and pulls me into the empty class room next to where we were.

I turn to him as he shuts the door and locks it with his wand. I reach up to kiss him and he kisses me chastely. He pulls away and stares at me.

"Did you enjoy that Lily?" He whispers

I nod leaning in again only to be pushed away by JT. I look up at him confused, he smiles down at me and then so fast that I didn't have time to think he smacks me hard against the face. I feel my head roll to the side as I close my eyes in pain.

Realization washes over me and I jump back, JT grabs me and pushes me against the brick wall. My body contracts in pain as the wall hits all of my bruises from the other night. I call out in shock but he presses his hand over my mouth.

"Just what the fuck were you doing with Potter last night?"

Fear washes over me, Brian told him, how could I have been so stupid to fall for his sweet act? It wasn't for me, it was for him to show off to everyone. To prove that he still was the perfect boyfriend.

I try to talk but his hand is pressed so hard against my mouth I can't move my lips. I settle for shaking my head.

"Don't lie to me!" JT slams me against the wall with each word. "Brian told me how lovingly he held you, for how long he held you."

I stare in fear as pain rips through my body.

"Are you fucking him!?" He yells again all I can do is shake my head. JT's hand flexes over my neck cutting off my air supply, I can't breath. This is it right here, he is going to kill me.

I feel my eyes close as I embrace the darkness that is over taking me, I want to die. Please let me die. Suddenly JT lets go and I fall to the floor gasping for air, my whole body shaking. I'm trying to gasp for more air but I'm crying too hard it's making it even more difficult. I keep my eyes squeezed shut praying that he will leave, my prayers aren't answered as his foot collides with my rib cage. I feel 2 ribs break with the force of his kick. I cry out quietly because I can't any louder.

JT grabs my hair and pulls me up harshly ignoring my pitiful shoves against him.

"You're mine you understand that! No thinking of you, no hanging out with your friends. No more nothing Lily! You don't do anything without talking to me first, you understand!" He yells in my face. All I can do is nod. He pushes me away and looks down in disgust.

"Clean your face Lily you look horrible." He steps over me and walks out of the room. I look around and quickly shuffle to the wall to try to calm down, but I can't. I can't stop crying which is making it even harder to breath. Sobs wrack through my body as I realize the severity of what happened. JT has never lost control like that; I've never been punished like this. I close my eyes tightly realizing the truth. I'm trapped, and their isn't a damn thing I can do about it.


	8. Chapter 8 Breathless

I don't know how long I lied on the floor trying to steady my breathing to no avail. My breath was getting shorter and shorter, maybe one of my ribs punctured my lungs I thought wildly. If they did maybe I was dying. That would actually be nice, death, it'd be so simple. Just to get away from all of this pain and confusion. My breath hitched as the door opened slowly.

Briana peeked in her wand a light. She waved it around and the candles in the room started to glow softly. Briana's eyes widened as she took in my state.

"Guys!" Briana screamed. I closed my eyes; they would make it worse if JT knew they were in here. He could still be close by for all I knew, I had no idea how much time has passed since he left me lying there.

I felt Briana fall to the ground next to me but I didn't open my eyes. My body was wracking trying to find the air my lungs so desperately needed but couldn't manage to hold on to. I could feel my mind slowly start to descend into the darkness that was pulling on me since JT left the room.

"Lily! Focus on my voice!" Briana shouted at me, I felt her grab my chin trying to pull up. She gasped; I knew then that she saw the damage that JT had done to my face. There must have been bruises on my neck, probably bruises on my face from where he slapped me, and I could taste the faint metallic taste of blood. "What the hell did he do to you?" Briana whined.

"Oh my god," Alice whispered as she joined Briana on the floor. "Lily, where does it hurt? We need to fix you up as best as possible and get you to the hospital wing."

I didn't answer, I couldn't. I just laid there with my eyes closed waiting for the darkness to consume me. But I was distracted now; Alice and Briana were trying to determine what was the most damaged. I could hear more foot steps outside of the room, for a second my whole body shut down. My breathing stopped and I froze. What if it was JT outside the room waiting for me to come out?

"Lily!" Briana's panicked voice broke into my mind. "Lily! You have to breathe, come on Lily!" Slowly my eyes opened and I looked at the door.

"Alice, get the others and then lock the door with anything that would prevent JT and his friend from coming in here. Lily it's okay, he's in the common room, He's been there for the last 2 hours." Briana cooed to me softly. I felt myself relax slightly. "Alice! Get the others!"

Alice jumped up and ran to the door, I could hear her whispering outside the door. Whoever she was whispering at were having a heated discussion. I closed my eyes again and tried to concentrate on my breathing. I couldn't control it, between the sobbing, the fear and the pain my breath was too labored. The more I tried to control it the harder it got to breath to the point where I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt my breathing hitch and my eyes opened in panic as I stared at Briana gasping for the breath that wasn't coming, Briana's eyes widened in fear.

"Alice!" She screamed "She can't breathe!"

The door slammed open as Alice and the marauders ran in. "Someone lock the damn door! I don't want anyone to be able to get in here! Remus!" Alice yelled as she threw herself next to me.

"Lily, where did he hit you?" I couldn't answer I was still gasping. "Lily, where does it hurt? I need to get you breathing!" I looked at her in confusion gasping louder.

"Pete! Go get Poppy! Now!" Sirius yelled "Remus let him out." Peter ran to the door and flung it open I could hear him running down the hall.

"Lily," James was by my head "Lily come on girl breathe." My only answer was a gurgle as my eyes drooped down; I could feel the need to pass out from lack of oxygen. "Guys we need to move her maybe another angle would allow her to breathe better."

"Move her gently James, pull her against your chest, maybe feeling your breathing will help her get hers." Remus said quickly. James reached under my arms and slowly dragged me to a sitting position against his back. Air rushed into my lungs as I felt a rip in my chest.

"AHHHHH" I screamed in pain

"Lily!" Everyone chorused together.

"Lily tell me where he hit you!" Alice shouted.

"Ribs." I gasped out in between breaths.

Alice wrenched my shirt up and gently prodded my left side. I gasped out in pain as her fingers came in contact with the broken ribs.

"He must have broken some ribs and they punctured her lungs!" Alice cried out.

"What do we do? Can you mend them?" Briana cried, I could see the tears cascading down her face.

"I can't." Alice whimpered, "If they punctured her lungs she has a hole in her lung and blood could be filling it as we speak! We need Poppy!"

As if on cue Peter busted through the door with Poppy hot on his heels.

"My lord, what happened to this child?" Poppy hollered

"Her lungs! Poppy, she can't breathe properly; I think that her rib has pierced into her lungs!" Alice jumped up grabbing the older witch and towing her to Lily. "You have to help her!"

"Lily, look at me. Can you feel a sharp pain in you lungs." I nodded back in response, my breathing was weakening.

"Hurry, we need her at the hospital wing. Potter, were going to levitate the two of you on a stretcher, we do not want to jostle her."

"Yes mam, but please could you put a disillusionment charm on us? I don't want anyone to see her like this please." James whispered as he softly ran his hands through my hair to calm me.

"Yes of course." Poppy quickly waved her wand and James and I were on a floating stretcher. "Here," She tapped our heads softly and it felt like old water was trickling down my back as the disillusionment charm was placed. "You 5 follow us."

Rather quickly we began our trip to the hospital wing. James was whispering quietly into my ear trying to keep me calm. My chest was ripping as the air supply slowly depleted until I was gasping again. James stiffened as my breathing stopped again.

"Poppy! She stopped breathing!" James yelled.

"Were almost there! Hold on Lily!" Poppy shouted as she began running, James and I started floating faster.

"James" I chocked out as the last bit of air that was in my lungs slipped out. "help." James looked down, fear etched in his face as my body stilled and my eyes shut.

**********************************************************************  
"That was so scary." Alice's voice flitted into my dreams.

"I know love, but you guys found her and brought her here. You guys saved her." Frank cooed.

"Longbottom, thank you for deterring JT and Brian." Sirius said quietly, "If JT had seen the commotion there is no doubt he would have been able to put two and two together. He would have known that it was Lily in pain and not Alice."

"Yea well I saw him last night in the common room, and Alice has told me that JT is just horrible to Lily and hates her and Briana. It was just quick thinking to say that Dumbledore sent word telling me that Alice had fallen down the stairs."

"Well still, thank you." Sirius whispered again.

"What do you suppose will happen now?" Peter said from my left. My eyes were too heavy to open and I wished that everyone would just shut up so I could go back to sleep.

"I don't know Pete." Remus whispered, "It's up to Lily to tell Poppy and Dumbledore what happened to her. We can't just blame JT for it even though we all know he did it. We have no proof."

"Proof?" James exclaimed, "Lily almost died! She stopped breathing! What more proof do they need? That asshole grabbed Lily by the throat chocked her, hit her across the face and then kicked her repeatedly in the side breaking her ribs, which then went and punctured her ribs filling them up with blood and stopping her from breathing! What more proof do they need?"

"James calm down," Briana whispered from my feet.

"No! This shouldn't have happened; we should have gone looking for her as soon as they left the great hall! She got hurt because no one was there to intervene."

"You don't know what your saying mate." Sirius said quietly, "If we had burst through the room while they were fighting JT would have made it worse on her."

"We would have found her 2 hours earlier though." Peter chipped in, "You know, before the blood was able to fill up her lungs."

"Exactly!" James said, I could hear him pacing back and forth next to my bed.

"She wouldn't have wanted us there." Remus whispered making James growl.

"And because she is too stubborn for her own good she almost died!" James yelled, "I should have been there, this is my fault."

"Hey," I heard Alice say as she got up, "It's no ones fault except JT's, he beat Lily not you James, and if you had been there it would have been worse."

"I don't know what to do, Alice." James whispered and I was surprise to hear that it sounded like he was crying. A new pain entered my chest at the heartbreaking sound. "I hardly even know her, but I care for her as if I have known her my whole life. She means everything to me; I don't want to lose her. When I thought she had died…" James trailed off sobbing quietly.

"We all were scared, mate." Sirius whispered, "But we need to be thankful that we were able to get to her in time and get her help. Lily is alive because of us."

"Lily cares for you too James." Briana said next to Sirius, "I haven't seen her as happy as she is when she is around you in years. You're special to her."

"I can't lose her Briana." James chocked out. My heart continued to break at the sound of his voice.

"I know James, and you won't. We will figure this out, okay." Alice cooed.

"Thanks guys." James whispered as he whipped his nose.

"So how soon till she wakes up do you suppose?" Frank said trying to change the subject.

"Soon I hope, she's been out for a day, Poppy said she should wake up shortly."

"JT has been asking a lot of questions. I saw him when I left the common room this morning," Briana stated, "Asked if I saw Lily, said I haven't since yesterday which technically was true."

"He isn't dumb; he'll realize soon enough that she is in here. I mean the state he left her in, where else could she be?" Alice scoffed.

"How is she?" Poppy said as she walked around the curtain that was hiding the Lily from the other beds.

"She is still sleeping." Remus whispered.

"Well there have been two young men coming in for the last hour asking if she was here. JT and Brian, I believe they are friends of Miss. Evans. I told them she was but was not to be disturbed. He said he heard that you lot were here, I told him that you were and that the visiting capacity was already over the limit seeing as you guys refuse to leave her side." Poppy said looking at each one of the students at a time, "I'm going against my better judgment and letting them in."

I tensed up quickly; if JT saw the others with me he would have a fit. The confrontation between him and my friends was bound to happen eventually but I didn't want to be in this state when it did.

"Okay Poppy." Frank spoke up quietly. I could feel the tension in the air as Poppy left to retrieve JT and Brian.

"Let rearrange sets. Alice and Briana sit by her feet. I'll sit on her right and Peter and Remus on her left. James and Sirius just stand up next to her that way if he starts anything you'll be in a position to stop him." Frank hissed and everyone moved as he said quickly. I heard the pop as someone vanished the remaining two chairs.

"She is right her gentlemen, some of your other house mates are sitting with her right now." Poppy said as she pulled back the curtain for JT and Brian to join the group.

"Guys." JT said curtly

No one responded at his unfriendly greeting. Poppy closed the curtain and walked away.

"What are you guys doing here?" JT hissed.

"Funny you should ask Martin," Sirius said with a sneering tone to his voice, "We happened to be looking for an empty class room to start planning our next prank and who do we find? Your girlfriend lying on the ground dying. Luckily we got to her in time to bring her to the hospital wing, eh?"

"How fortunate," JT grunted, "You found her then, but why are you here now?"

"We are here to make sure she is okay." Peter chimed in defensively.

"And why should you care?"

"She happens to be our friend, I could ask you the same thing, why do you care?" Remus shot back at him.

"She happens to be my girlfriend." JT sneered.

"Funny, the way you treat her I thought she was just a toy." James hissed.

"The way I treat her? The way I treat her is none of your damned concern Potter."

"Trust me it is." James said, I felt him move away from me.

"I don't see how it is."

"That's because you're too stupid to think Martin. Lily is my concern."

"She's mine."

"She isn't some type of property! I've seen what happens when Lily is around you, I've seen the bruises, I've felt the bumps, and I have seen her cry cause she don't know what to do. I'll tell you one thing Martin that as soon as Lily wakes up and she tells everyone what you did to her your ass is mine."

"Oh really? Well you don't know shit about Lily and I Potter. I'd like to see you try to kick my ass."

"I'm not a 100 pound girl you can throw around; I'm a real man and will knock you out so fast you won't believe it."

"James back up." Frank interjected

"Yea Potter, watch out. You don't want to get hurt."

"It wasn't for James; I don't want you guys to wake up Lily." Frank whispered.

"I'll wake her up if I please." JT hissed, I heard him try to move around towards me, but someone stopped him. "Get your fucking hand off me Black."

"Get away from Lily." Sirius hissed.

"Oh is she fucking you too? We all know she is shaking up with Potter. I guess the marauders share their whores. No doubt you are all hitting it with Briana and Alice." JT hissed.

"Watch your mouth Martin." Remus whispered threateningly as he stood up.

"Yea, 2 against 7 aren't good odds for you." Peter chipped in standing up as well.

"Like you guys would do anything." Brian hissed.

"You're right it would be 6 against you Brian because I'd take Martin on by myself and show him exactly what Lily feels."

"Stop talking like you know anything about my girlfriend."

"I wouldn't go around calling her your girlfriend Martin. After what you did to her she won't come near you ever again." James hissed.

"You honestly think she will say anything against me? You're as dumb as you look. Lily won't say anything against me; she knows what will happen if she does. She isn't stupid Potter. You don't know her like I do."

"I know her enough. Better then you do."

"You really think so?" JT wondered sarcastically, "Why not ask the little princess, she's been awake the whole time. Isn't that right Lily?"

Everyone stopped bustling around and looked over at me. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at JT. My eyes widened in fear as I took in the expression on his face. He was furious.

"Lily?" James whispered softly coming to kneel by my bed. "How are you feeling?"

I shake my head back and forth looking him in the eye.

"See, Potter? Even she says you don't know her, now get the hell away from my girl friend."

I continued shaking my head while staring at James praying that he wouldn't leave. I tried to open my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I clawed at my throat looking at him in confusion.

"Your vocal cords were damaged from being excessively squeezed." Alice whispered, "I'm going to get Poppy." She jumped up and ducked under the curtain.

"Lily, Poppy patched you up in no time, she says you will be sore for awhile but that you will heal fine." James whispered as he softly ran his hands over my hair. I nodded and then looked to JT.

"Potter get away from my girl friend." JT stepped forward only to be blocked by Sirius and Remus. "For the last time take you damn hands off me Black!" JT bellowed and went to swing back at Sirius only to have his hand grabbed by Remus.

"Leave." Remus murmured with hate in his voice staring at JT with disgust.

"No."

"Honestly! What in the hell is going on in here! This girl needs rest! You two, "She pointed at JT and Brian. "Get out of my hospital wing now! There was no trouble in here till you showed up. Out! Out now!" She shook a towel at the two.

"Lily, come find me as soon as she releases you. Understand?" JT murmured staring at me intensely. I felt tears well up in my eyes again as I nodded. JT's eyes drifted to James's face which was full of shock staring at me. He sensed the stare and looked back at JT, JT cast him an evil smirk and turned on his heel and left.

"The rest of you go wait outside the curtain. I need to be alone with Miss. Evans to check her over."

Everyone else quickly got up and moved around the curtain except for James. James was staring at me in shock still. His face slightly sad.

"James go with the others. You guys go get lunch then by the time you guys are done eating I should have Lily sorted out." Poppy prodded James. James nodded his head and stood up slowly. Leaning down he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and left without saying a word.

I stare at the place where he disappeared while Poppy starts to assess the damage. Turns out my


	9. Chapter 9 Lies

I waited patiently while Poppy looked over my injuries. She kept mumbling to herself about fights starting in her hospital wing and wondering aloud to herself about how I had come to sustain such injuries. I gathered from her examination that my jaw was cracked, my face badly bruised, one black eye, 2 broken ribs which had penetrated my left lung allowing blood to fill it and cause my breathing to cease and almost die, and finally my vocal cords were badly injured resulting in me not being able to talk. If it had not been for my friend's quick thinking when James pulled me up I would have been dead within minutes. For some reason the severity of this didn't phase me as it should most people. The only fear I had was facing JT again.

"Lily, I am going to have to report this to the headmaster, you understand?" Poppy said gently as she sat her instruments down and sat next to me.

I looked at her in confusion. Why would she have to tell Dumbledore? She must have read my mind because a reprimanding look appeared on her face.

"Lily had your friends not found you when they did you would have died, you understand that right?" I nodded. "You need to tell us who hurt you."

I shook my head and smiled at her. I fell I tried to say but no sound came out of my mouth. I looked at her trying to convey my thoughts to her. Poppy sighed and conjured a note book and quill for me to write for her.

I fell- I wrote out to her. Handing it back to her she scoffed and dropped the note book onto my knees. Standing up Poppy grabbed a mirror from the bedside and handed it to me. I took it bewildered. Looking at myself I could see that my excuse of falling would not work.

"Do you see why I can't believe you Lily?"

I stared at my reflection as I started to cry. A bruise in the form of JT's hand was visible across my face, purple and red with an angry glow. My neck had 5 circular bruises exactly where JT had crushed my throat in his hand. My left eye was black and blue the entire sclera of my eye was now red instead of white from the veins bursting. I chocked back a sob as I put the mirror down. JT had done this. It had never been this bad.

"Your side and back are worse. Some of those bruises looked a day or so older then the others. Lily, you have to tell us who did this to you."

I just sat there in silence not meeting her eyes. I couldn't explain it to her. None of them understood.

"Your friends should be back shortly, if they aren't waiting outside already I'll die of shock. Count yourself lucky to have such good friends Miss Evans. I'm going to have Professor Slughorn brew you a cure to heal your vocal cords and fetch Headmaster Dumbledore he wants to talk with you." I looked up at her in shock, they told him already? What had the others told them while I slept? "Yes we told the headmaster of your incident. He will want to talk to you as soon as possible. Get some rest dear."

I closed my eyes as she walked away. What a mess I had gotten myself into. What was I thinking going off alone with JT, I knew he was mad but I went off with him any ways. Now I had to figure out what to tell Dumbledore. I wracked my brain trying to find a suitable answer but came up with nothing. They couldn't force me to tell them what happened. I'll just tell them I fell. Who cares if they believe me or not?

"Lils?" Briana's voice came from outside the curtain.

"God Briana it's not like she can answer you, her voice doesn't work." Sirius laughed

"I'm just being polite Black, and if you're going to be an insensitive jerk you can wait outside." Briana scolded making everyone else laugh.

"Jeeze calm down babe."

"This is serious you guys. Don't even think about making a wise crack about your name Black." Alice scolded him.

"Wow chill out girls. Go see Lily if worrying over her is putting your knickers in that big of a twist."

"Ouch!" Sirius screamed as two slaps echoed off the walls of the hospital wing.

"Sorry mate, but you had it coming. Come on lets go see Lily." Remus chuckled as he appeared around the curtain followed closely by the rest of the group.

"Hey Lily," Briana said as she took a seat next to me. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled slightly.

"Oh don't pull that on me. You must be in so much pain." Briana scolded me.

I grabbed my note book and wrote 'It looks worse then what it is'

Briana read it quickly and laughed, "Lily you almost died."

'Almost, you guys saved me. Thank you, all of you.'

I handed it back to Briana who read it and laughed. "She says she _almost_ died but that we saved her and she thanks all of us." Briana handed the note book back to me, "So what did Poppy say after she examined you?"

I started to write quickly 'That I'm lucky, my ribs are broken, one black eye, multiple bruises, and cracked jaw. She went to Slughorn to get a potion so I can talk again and went to get Dumbledore so I can talk to him.'

Briana read my words upside down and repeated it to the others who were still standing around my bed.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" Alice asked sitting at the foot of my bed. I shrugged not bothering to write anything down. They would get the hint.

"You're not telling him are you?" Briana sighed.

I gave her an "are you stupid look" and rolled my eyes.

James opened his mouth as if he was going to say something only to be cut off but a loud bustling coming from the entrance of the hospital wing.

"Where is she Poppy?" Slughorn's booming voice reached our ears.

"Just over here, I'm sure she is holding court there. I couldn't get Potter and his friends to leave her alone since she got here." This earned a great chuckle from Slughorn.

"It's a good thing I had this on hand already, takes 5 weeks to brew this kind of cure, especially for the extent of damage you mentioned."

"Yes well I am sure Lily will appreciate it very much Horace."

"Anything for my favorite pupil." Slughorn's voice cooed in admiration. My friends laughed as my face turned red as her hair.

"Here she is." Poppy and Slughorn came around the curtain.

"Sweet Merlin, Lily, are you okay pet?" Slughorn whispered taking in the extent of the injuries that covered me. I nodded with a smile. "Ah can't talk, take this and you will be talking straight away." He handed me a cup of lumpy blue potion and laughed at my face.

"Go on Lily, and then you can talk." Remus encouraged laughing at the look of revulsion on my face as I pressed my lips to the cup and tilted it back to swallow. Instantly my throat felt like it was on fire causing me to look at Slughorn in panic.

"It'll hurt for a moment, only a moment." And as he said it the pain dulled and the tension that was on my throat before lifted. "Try to talk."

"Thank you." A whisper of my voice came out, I smiled at the sound.

"You're welcome Miss Evans. Well my job is done here, Poppy shall we tell Dumbledore?"

"Yes I think so. You lot stay with her until we return." Poppy and Slughorn left quickly.

"That feels better." I whispered at my friends who were staring at me still. "What? Guys seriously it looks worse then it feels. I am sore but other then that I feel great."

"Don't lie Lily." James said rolling his eyes. "You look like you're in pain."

"I never said I wasn't in pain just that it wasn't that bad."

"Okay what ever." James hissed at me making me do a double take. For some strange reason it hurt my feelings.

"James, what wrong?"

"What's wrong Lily? Are you seriously asking me that right now?"

"Maybe we should let them talk privately." Sirius said grabbing Briana and leading the others out from my bed space. I watched as Frank towed Alice behind him who was shooting me a sympathetic stare, Remus and Peter hurried around James and out from the curtain. It was just the two of us left.

"I don't understand why you're so angry with me." I whispered at James.

"You don't get it." James's hands shot into his hair as he stared around the room as if looking for an answer. James let his hands fall to his side and took a deep breath. "Lily do you have any idea how close you came to dying? Lily you almost died in my arms on the way to the hospital wing!" I stared up at him with my mouth hanging open; did it affect him that badly? "You looked up at me and said "James, help." Do you have any idea what that was like?"

"No" That was all I could get out, I felt like a little kid getting told off by their father.

"Lily we all want to help you, but you're not letting us."

"It's not that simple James." I pleaded for him to understand.

"It's not as complicated as you think Lily. Tell Dumbledore! Tell him JT beat you; tell him JT has always beaten you! Dumbledore of all people could help you."

"You think I haven't thought of that before? Do you honestly think I haven't tried to get help? I have tried!" I yelled jumping out of the bed even though my body protested. I strode over to James and got right up to him. "I have tried! I've been trying but he terrifies me James! No matter what I do he will find a way to manipulate me into staying with him, to forgiving him, to not telling anyone. He will say how sorry he is, how he will change and he doesn't! I know this I am not stupid enough to believe it now. But no good will come from telling Dumbledore." I yelled at him.

James took a step back and stared at my face harshly. "If you don't tell Dumbledore, I will. So will Sirius. He saw what JT did that night."

"I'll deny it." I said bluntly. "I won't tell them what JT does to me!" I turn to get back into bed to only have James grab my arm gently turning me back to him. I look down not wanting him to see the tears that are starting to fill my eyes.

"Hey," James softly tips my head up, "Lily, don't do this. You won't have to say anything, we will do the talking." I shook my head back and forth. "Why not? Is it because you are scared he will come after you again, sweetheart, you break it off with him you will never have to be near him again. We would protect you."

I look at James with sorrow in my eyes. He just doesn't get it. To him the whole situation is easy but it's not.

"James, it won't work this way. You should just turn around now and forget about this. It's my mess and I don't want you involved with it anymore. Please just leave."

I might as well have slapped him, James looked so hurt. I turn and start to walk back to my bed and James skirts around to block my way.

"I'm not leaving and I won't forget about this Lily. I won't forget about you. I don't understand it and nothing about this makes sense right now. But I have never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. The moment I met you was like a light turning on inside me. I want to protect you Lily, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want you, all of you. You've become the whole world to me. Seeing you in pain hurts me. When I thought you had died, I can't explain the pain the erupted inside me. Ask anyone of our friends I was beside myself crying and screaming. They had to give me 6 different calming draughts. Then the feeling when Poppy told us you were stable, that's one moment I will never forget. I love you Lily."

My tears were pouring down my face after James's profession. He loved me? This was turning to an even bigger mess. James was too involved and now he would get hurt because of me.

"Don't" I whispered, "You can't say stuff like that James."

"But it's true Lily!" James grabbed my face tenderly in his hands, "I love you, and I'm not backing down no matter how hard you try to make me. I'm not going away."

"James, I'm not good for you. My whole life is a mess and I can't get out of it. Not now, not ever. You desereve better."

"I deserve better? Lily you deserve better! You deserve someone who will hold you, tell you how beautiful you are how amazing you are, and how special you are to them. You will never have that with JT, he doesn't care for you. But I do! I care about you so much, just let me help you and I will prove it to you." James grabbed me pulling me close to him. "I love you." James's mouth was moving closer to mine, his eyes locked on mine the whole time waiting for the go ahead. I closed my eyes softly as he leaned in.

"Am I interrupting something?" Professor Dumbledore asked coming around the curtain making James and I jump apart.

"N-n-no sir." I stuttered turning away from James and climbing gingerly back into bed.

"Good just checking." Dumbledore winked at James who chuckled. "Well now down to business." Dumbledore looked at me over his half moon glasses. I always felt like he had x-ray vision and could read my mind.

"Yes, sir." I whispered staring at my hands.

"So, Miss. Evans, care to share what happened? Poppy has told me that you say that you fell down in an empty classroom and fortunately for you your friends found you." Dumbledore looks at me not conveying disbelief at all, "Miss Evans I must say that judging by the marks that grace your face and neck I can't say I believe you. Do not be ashamed child, you are not the first nor will you be the last to go through this."

"I fell." I whispered not looking at Dumbledore or James. I hear James sigh angrily. I shrink back against my pillows and look at Dumbledore with apprehension,.

"Hmmm, now Lily did the room where you fell in have statues hands laying everywhere?" Dumbledore asks making me blush to my roots, I look around at James and see a flicker of annoyance as he stares at me shaking his head.

"No sir."

"Well then, it seems to me that you are not being honest Lily. In fact I believe you are lying to me." I wince at his bluntness, which of course does not go unnoticed. "Do not fret Lily; I am not angry at you. Rather angry that you will not help yourself get out of this situation. You are covering for someone, out of fear or loyalty I do not know. But what I do know is the severity of the situation. If someone truly cared for you they would not do this to you. You almost died Miss Evans, had your friends not found you, you would not be here right now. Please consider telling me who has done this to you. You do not have to tell me today but sometime in the near future please, that way we can help you."

"Lily, tell him." James pleaded softly.

"I'm sorry." I say looking at my hands, "But you can't help me."

"Lily that is exactly what your attacker wants you to think. They want you to feel totally helpless and alone. But you are neither, you have help waiting for you, and you have some remarkable friends who love you and do not want to see you die. Please consider that." Dumbledore stood up and looked around at James and I. "My door is always open should you change your mind Miss Evans. I encourage you to allow someone to help you."

I watched as Dumbledore walked around the curtain and out of sight. His words played over in my head "someone who truly cares for you would not do this to you." Did he know? Did James and the rest of them tell Poppy who then told Dumbledore that I was covering for JT?

"You have to be kidding me." James mumbled staring up at the ceiling, I looked at him in trepidation, he was mad that was easy to see. "Lily are you really that stupid!" James screamed at me. I winced he was furious at me. James strode to the end of my bed and looked down at me. "Do you honestly think the moment you get out of this hospital that JT won't hesitate to hurt you again? That he won't hit you? Are you that thick?"

"James stop, please." I pleaded; I couldn't take having him yell at me.

"No, you stop Lily. Stop being afraid of him! Stop giving him the power to control you! Stop covering for him! He almost killed you; he should be in Azkaban right now! Is that what you want? You want him to kill you and just leave the rest of us to pick up the pieces? Well I'm not going to stand here and watch it Lily! I'm trying to help you but right now I can't even look at you!" James stormed away from my bed yanking the curtain away from my bed to reveal Sirius, Remus, Peter, Briana, Alice and Frank standing with their mouths open. James strode past them and out of the hospital wing slamming the great doors behind him.


	10. Authors Note 1

Hey guys! So I posted chapter 3 twice instead of chapter 4, I just saw this and am fixing it. I am so mad cause chapter 4 is the MAIN chapter so you know what exactly Lily's situation is. So I have fixed it, please re-read. Also I want to warn you guys a lot of the stuff that I am posting is of sensitive nature. If you have ever been a victim of an abusive relationship you will be able to relate. Now this entire story is based off of what I went through from age 16- 19. I was in an abusive relationship, everything that happened to Lily did happen to me. It was a dark time of my life but with the help of one really great guy I was able to move on from it. That man is now my boyfriend and future husband. I just want to give you guys some background info. And also if you are a victim of an abusive relationship please do not hesitate to seek help.

Thanks!


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